Clarabelle.Chix.Belle.Clara.Bello.Nunnie

2009-04-04T11:30:00.003+08:00

I'm an alcoholic.. and proud of it.

I have been drinking every night for the past week.. and i find it very liberating.. work production has been really good ever since i started it... and i have really happy.. :D

should i make it a every night thingy already? a thought to think abt..

going to aunty irene [not irene ang] for a psychic reading.. can't wait.. aren't u excited, fenny? :D

gonna have lunch with dav now.. tata

2009-03-08T19:45:00.002+08:00

I hate sorries... why bothering saying sorry when it doesn't make anything better.. it doesn't make me feel any better. it doesn't make the situation any better..

Hurt and angry is what i'm feeling now. so much for caring. so much for making me feel that u guys really want me to be there. thanks for assuming that i'll be there. assume is making an ass outta u and me.. no one even told u guys that?

i dun mean to vent my anger on only one person. it's really mean of me. but u're my fren coz i know u feel bad.

but the other two? u dun even cared to call or msg me! what's the pt of calling me after u have reached? to ask me where i have reserved the table!? assuming that i'll juz be there? i have a life. i could have done something else though i was sick n having a fever. in the first place, i wanted to go despite having a fever. but why should i be somewhere that i'm not wanted at all.

2008-12-25T01:17:00.002+08:00

I am too lazy to blog........

Past few days have been fun.. fei lun hai's concert, ryan's church wedding, ryan's wedding dinner, chee chor's xmas dinner, etc...

But i'm too lazy to blog.. *YAWN*

Merry Christmas to all..

Though nothing fantastic this yr.. let's hope it'll be better next yr!

Hopefully, we could do xmas dinner at ur place again, chee chor.. :D it was really fun..

:D toodles...

2008-12-09T17:23:00.002+08:00

So this is Christmas....

Christmas period is now.. but dun feel a big difference.. nothing special abt it.. esp with the economy and the bangkok thingy that is happening..

Need to speak to my darling Loose abt this.. but lately, she's already aslp when i get home and i'm aslp when she's awake.. even over the weekend n PH ytd.. the only conversation we had ytd was..

Loose: is my dress nice?
Me: Yes, it is..
Loose: is my hair nice?
Me: Yes.. loose
Loose: ok, i'm going for my fren's wdg dinner now
Me: orites, have fun mother
Loose: Thanks
Me: Yr welcome

Tried to email her through her office today.. but she's not responding.. most prob i got it wrong..
oh well.. will try to go home early to talk to her abt it...

Random Thoughts

Did you know that Gong Li is a PR of Singapore now? Like did u ever see this day coming that Gong Li will be a PR of our country? Esp when u used to watch her shows since young.. i still like the "Raise the Red Lantern" the most.. heh.. :)

How can someone not have common sense? What's so hard to use the brain once in awhile?

I wanna buy the magical elvies.. it's damn yummy n fun to eat!

I dunno what i wan for my bday.. but i know what i dun wan.. lol.. No Soft toys, Toys, Bracelets, Bags, Accessories n Pouch/Purse.. :D That should be simple, rite?

2008-12-01T12:43:00.002+08:00

Twilight

OMG!! This is like the first time i'm really excited to watch a movie!!

I can't wait for it to come out!!! so gonna get the dvd when it's out as well....

Seeing the trailers and photos online is making my skin itch!!

I REALLY CAN'T WAIT :D

2008-11-25T12:46:00.005+08:00

at home right now.. 2 days' of mc from doc.. having bronchitis and wheezing..

wish i could rest well but the new girl, bambi.. she is driving me nuts with her phonecalls!! ytd after awhile, i smsed her to tell her to sms me instead coz it hurts to talk.. and her reply was: but there are so many qns i wanna ask u, can't sms. WTF!

she woke me up today with her calls n smses too until i got fed up and woke up with a bloody migraine instead.. gawd.. i have to be on msn all day today so that she can shoot me with her qns.

my gawd! it's only 2 farking days la.. when i go for my trip, what's gonna happen?! what? call me in bkk?!

damn pissed off.. aargh..

i had a horrible weekend (except for 3 hrs on sunday).. on sat, i had bad diarrhoea.. on sun, it ended.. (thankfully!).

met my unaccomplished dream for 3 hrs... interesting person.. haha.. and then i went off to church, got caught in the heavy rain.. had to be the only person that was dripping wet.. cough got even worse after that coz of the bloody church's air-conditioning..

i wanna watch "twilight"!!! it's gonna be out on 18 dec! can someone watch with me before i leave for my trip? :)

2008-11-08T11:20:00.002+08:00

My Unaccomplished Dream

Didn't met up with my unaccomplised dream this week... Sadness... we are too busy with work to meet up

My unaccomplished dream is not in Singapore over the weekend... Sadness....

My unaccomplished dream looks damn HOT in Bright Green... hahahhaa

When will we ever go out, my unaccomplished dream?? :)

2008-11-05T13:06:00.002+08:00

I ate too much of the calamari during lunch.. feeling damn sick.. *puke*

anyway... all souls' day was on sunday.. i totally forgot abt it until mass started.. it was quite an emo mass coz Father Andrew kept making us reflect on those who has departed.. as u all know that i miss my grandparents.... my 5th grand uncle, and my favourite priest... sigh...

during the mass, there was this hymn that was being sung, some of the words really made me emo and miss them even more... i dun really know the title though.. it goes:

"To everything, there is a season.. A time to live, a time to die.. A time to meet, a time to part"

I really hope to meet the 4 pple that i miss so much once again... later on.. not now though..

Hahahhahaah...

2008-10-29T13:05:00.002+08:00

Things always happen for a reason. But it's up to individual to move forward or not..

I slipped for some reasons but it won't happen again.. :D

I'm fine, peeps.. dun worry..

Can't wait for next week.. Hopefully, my unaccomplished dream will finally happen.. haha.. :P

2008-10-26T20:17:00.002+08:00

Never expected to see the day that the both of us like the same person....

I'm not gonna give up and i dun think u will too..

Sigh.. what are we gonna do now, my fren?

2008-10-22T12:58:00.003+08:00

I really have no idea how pple can lie to me.

Maybe i'm really juz too naive to believe.

So much for trusting that you won't lie to me.

So much for believing in you though my gut feelings told me that you guys were lying.

2008-10-20T22:52:00.002+08:00

as u guys can see.. i've changed the colour of my blog.. but i'm too lazy to do the editing.. i will save that for another day.

i can't wait for my leave on fri. i need some time alone.. i dunno what i'm feeling inside anymore...

and i'm tired of acting blur/ignorant over some stuffs... i juz need a break from all these crap..

i know you better than u think i do..... and i hate that fact.

2008-09-13T10:02:00.002+08:00

Gawd i'm stoning..

Had to report for duty today at work.. damnitz.. david (from wk) had to remind me ytd that it seems that i'm working every sat though i've "graduated".. that guy really knows how to brighten my day.. -_-''' and he kept asking me to pray more.. haha..

Have alot of work to clear coz i was on course ytd.. but i juz can't seem to focus! brain kept on shutting down every few mins.. and it's cold and nice to sleep coz it's raining.. boohoohooo... man, i'm starving.. i wanna ask allyssa if she wanna have lunch with me later but i'm wearing illegal shoes.. lol.. and she's so far from me.. sigh.. noone else from sales is here.. so boring.. even my stalker, sherry, isn't here today.. :( where's my JT?! she's crazy.. she asked me to come to work tmw n acc her.. no way man.. i juz saw my roster for F1.. No off that week for all of us.. lol.. no wala! sadness... and have to do f&b again.. hopefully my wrists will be good that weekend..

nickole is so sweet.. she bgt me chocolates from taiwan.. haven't had the chance to eat them though.. will try them tmw or something..

Having different comments on Wall E.. dunno whether to watch tmw or not.. Sarah, JT, TG, Esther said that it's really good.. but Fun & Val said that it's not worth the money.... and the last time i watched a movie that Fun said it wasn't nice (can't remember what show), it totally sucked... But then she enjoyed KungFu Panda while i didn't really like it.. sigh.. hate making decisions..

Forgotten to charge my ishuffle but thank gawd i brought my charger.. no music to hear for awhile.. but hopefully, i remember to bring them back coz the last time i charged it at work, i happily went off without it n i didn't think abt it until halfway through mass the next day! i was panicking like crazy coz i didn't wan to be like Frankie.. heh..

I wish i can buy a divider to place in front of me.. even though that woman isn't here.. but when i look up from my comp, i see like one whole line of her pictures with her face in all of them... ok fine.. duh.. of coz her face has to be in every bloody one of them.. but can't she paste them in front of her comp? why do i have to see them instead of her.. basket..

Gawd.. i need to stock up on food soon.. i'm freaking hungry right now!!! and what i have with me is my water bottle that has water from wed.. (no time to take water) and one miserable packet of M&Ms.. oh ya! and my meds for migraine and blocked nose.. sadness..

As u can see, i'm juz blabbering non-stop coz 1) i dun wanna work right now.. 2) i'm lonely.. lol..

Juz as i was typing that sentence.. Val walked past.. and we juz stared at each other coz both of us didn't know that we're gonna be at work today.. lol.. and i juz ate a chocolate muffin that her mum made... yummy..

Ok.. I'm a happier person now.. haha.. back to work! toodles..

2008-09-11T21:23:00.002+08:00

Here i am still stuck at work.. lol.. decided to take a small break and update my blog.. :)

Had the most shitty day of my entire 23 years on this earth today.. Shan't go into details.. but i could seriously feel the sky brightening up and the sun coming thru when that woman left for the day.. lol...

This week has been crappy.. seriously.. i think she's menopausing soon.. damnitz... why me? anyway.. i juz hafta deal with it.. :)

ONE great news though...

MY LEAVE IN DECEMBER IS APPROVED!!!!! yay!!!!!!! can't wait for the day to come!

OH YA!

talking abt this! i hafta apply for leave for von's wedding!!! shitzz.. ok.. i shall do that tmw.. :)

Now..

To get back to work so that i can get the hell outta here...

Take care u guys!

2008-08-17T20:48:00.005+08:00

i'm tired but i promised esther that i'll update my blog over the weekend... soo.. here goes..

Last mon, met up with kev.. he's a bummer now.. -_-''' time to start working, kev!! i'll pass u the mouth thingy soon, k? maybe next week or something..

The rest of the week was alright.. could actually pass by faster.. sigh.. new girl in the office! she's fei's junior.. quite funny, that girl.. :)

Had to go back to work ytd again.. sigh.. two more saturdays left!! yay! esther was back coz she was on duty.. had fun chatting and all.. :) then, we went Billy Bomber's for lunch.. spent almost 2 hrs? chatting and eating.. it was really fun.. found out that she's really cute n blur.. hahahaa..

Met Val at kallang coz she was having her hair cut.. it's really short but nice.. then went to city hall to meet li yan.. and then after awhile, went to wala's.. it was really fun.. :) haven't laughed so hard in awhile coz we made frens with the pple at the table next to us.. and what got us talking was this bitch and her ang moh bf... anyway.. our new-found frens (alicia & mark) are really funny and friendly.. [val had her hair touched by mark quite often.. *clear throat*] we exchanged numbers [okie.. li yan n i only have alicia's number.. while val has only mark's number.. i wonder why.. haha] so that we can sit together when they come to wala again.. :D n i seriously think that alicia looks like my darling ivy tara wong! i'm serious!!

and today..

woke up at abt 11 plus. mum was calling my hp.. [she went to rebond her hair in the morning] told me to wake up and meet her at khatib to visit my aunt.. being such a sweet daughter [dun puke].. i dragged myself outta bed and met her there.. BUT.. my aunt wasn't at home.. -_-''' mum assumed that my aunt would be at home.. so we went to Ikea instead.. i was so tired that i was sleeping in the bus there.. i finally allowed her to buy the stupid curtain that she wanted to buy previously coz i was juz too lazy to stop her.. had lunch there and then we went to take a bus to city hall to cathedral for mass.. slept all the way there as well.. i was so drowsy that i nearly got hit 3 times.. by a car, bike and bicycle.. and i got nagged by mum 5 hundred times coz of that.. -_-''' then took the 56 back home.. and by now, u guys would have guessed what was i doing in the bus.. hahaa.. soo... that ends my boring sunday..

oh ya! mummy is so dumb.. she needed to go to the pee house before leaving khatib station.. i waited for her outside.. then when she came out.. she was like "claire, i nearly had a heart attack in the pee house [ya, my mum calls it e pee house too.] and i was like.. what happened?!!?! u will never guess what she said.. hahahaha.. she said this.. "i walked in, and i saw this lady with long straight hair wearing a long white dress top staring at me.. i jumped when i saw her! then.. i realized... it was my reflection.." ahhahahaahaha.. i really didn't know what to say.. -_______-''''

that's all folks! hopefully this week will pass even faster!!!!! :D

2008-08-02T13:26:00.002+08:00

Waiting for Fenny to come right now.. Finished my work already... Boring~~ and i'm starving...

Have been annoyed for the past few days.. close frens would know why...

Been lazy to blog lately as u guys can tell...

Meeting Jon tmw to get my name tag back.. yay! I know we're supposed to go somewhere for food.. But i seriously can't remember where is it.. haha.. Memory cells are depleting rapidly..

Nana went to HK.. will be back only on Thurs... I wanna go HK too!!!! can pay a visit to my uncle as well..

Work area is in a mess.. but i'm too lazy to clear.. and no strength too, anyway.. all i can think of right now is what are we gonna eat when we meet.. lol.. with no queue and fast service.. A starving BeLLe is a angry, irritated person with no patience... :)

2008-07-19T09:19:00.003+08:00

I dunno, man.. i feel that if i was not meant to know certain stuffs, i wish i didn't know anything abt it.. not even one ounce of it.. i juz hate it when i found out abt it accidentally or when another party mentions it to me and i have no idea what the hell happened, may it be even 1/4 of it.. it annoys the crap outta me.. now, i'm so annoyed that i can't concentrate during work...

Questions like.. Why did the person feel this way? What happened? That person didn't seem upset... Then.. i start to wonder..... what happened to our friendship? Does the person not trust me enough to share feelings with me? Am i that bad a fren?

Yeah, i am a bad fren.. Everyone is telling me that i dun spend enough time with them... not putting in enough effort to meet them.. i rather meet other pple..... am i really that busy.. blah blah blah.... i know.. i suck at being a fren..

Maybe i should juz be alone for awhile.. dun wanna meet anyone after today.. so ya.. i'm not gonna hang with anyone, ok? so everyone could juz stop thinking that i'm hanging with the other party when i'm not. Sick and tired of everything.

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Met Volder for dinner last nite so that he would stop pestering me for awhile.. In the end, i got bored and irritated by him.. he was so upset when i couldn't remember our fav hangout place last time.. i seriously couldn't remember.. he kept giving me hints like.. we used to go there when we finished work.. it's at Marina Square.. blah blah.. but i juz can't.. (it turned out to be HK cafe.. -_-'') spend the whole time after that listening to him grumbling abt me.. sigh.. we were in the midst of having a quarrel when fun, val, cindy n tg walked past us and stopped to say hi.. it was a tad awkward at the moment, man.. -_-''' had a little interrogation session by him after that.. annoying piece of crap
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Now, i juz wanna finish my work and accompany allyssa to Chinatown to buy her cheongsam.. Oh ya.. Lav.. why didn't u come back n find me after you were done with your meeting? i was waiting for you.. but oh well, we can talk another time..

2008-06-29T21:13:00.004+08:00

Taking a break from work right now.. ya ya.. it's a sunday.. i brought home work coz my stupid work comp is the crappest shit on earth.. gawd.. can't even see the logos for this event la..

anyway.. ytd was the busiest day i had in awhile.. haha.. i was so tired that i actually slept in the cab on my way home with mich.. oh!! i finally cut my hair ytd!! was feeling real good after that.. i juz love cutting my hair.. and i had a wonderful surprise when we walked out of the hair salon! bumped into val and her fren.. lol.. and i totally forgotten abt getting my earrings after meeting her.. -_-''''

Went for Joyce's birthday party too.. hope u like the pressie that we bgt for u! sorry that we didn't stay long.. but our wishes are with u.. :) ur bf seems like a nice dude too.. :) he better be treating u well.. and i can't believe that u still tell pple how we met each other.. lol.. u're so cute la

Anyway.. fie.. no worries k? dun have to apologise.. i know u didn't expect him to come along.. :)

Woke up early today and had a lovely surprise to see my mum sleeping next to me.. no wonder i slept so well last night.. haha.. we went to church, then to oxley rd mama's place for a visit.. after which we went for a little shopping where i finally bgt my earrings! like finally! heh..

Oh ya!

I went to hmv to get my earring for my tragus at the same shop where i got them pierced.. and i was like quite cheesed off coz i had to wait for like ten mins juz to get one earring n there were two annoying girls kept interrupting when i was trying to discuss with the piercing girl on which earring to get.. and when i was talking halfway, someone tapped me on my shoulder n it was my trainee fren from the shitty place! i was so excited to see her until she told me that she was walking past the shop when she thot she heard a familiar voice so she went to see who it was.. basket.. do i really talk that loud? -_-''' oh well.. it was nice chatting with her for awhile.. ha..

Hope that val's feeling better now.. she was feeling feverish n all.. wanted to pop by her place to pass her some food but she has food at home n i remembered that her mum is a great cook n all.. lol..

Anyway..

i'm counting down to the end of the 3 mths.. can't wait for that day to come. no more working on every sats!! yay!!

2008-06-27T13:32:00.002+08:00

it's been awhile since i updated my blog that i totally forgotten what's my username n password.. lol.. thank gawd for email!

Work has been blah.. nothing to update abt that.. sorry for those that i haven't met in awhile.. once my stupid 3 mths' of working on sat is up, i'll have more time for you guys.. heh

Been chatting with cinz twice a day.. lol.. when i come to work and when i'm dying at work.. it's cool though sometimes, i'm too caught up with work to respond to her n she has already logged out..

My desk has not been "clara-fied" yet.. the only thing that it's really mine is that Eeyore handphone holder that Jon bought for me.. i need my happy items with me soon.. too dull here esp at the shitty space that i am in.. *sad* can't even see the sky from my area... basket..

Gonna go for Joyce's 21st tmw with mich.. dunno whether fi will be in time to go with us.. haven't gotten her a gift yet though... 21 seems so far away.. lol.. ok..not.. i'm still young alright..

Ok..

I better stop here before the rest of the team is back from lunch.. my only chance of freedom right now..

Ta for now..

2008-05-24T10:11:00.005+08:00

My mum decided to wake me up by jumping on the other side of the bed n removing all the pillows from me.. i got a bloody shock n n she was like.. "wake up! wake up! go n eat prawn noodles soup!!" in my face.. and while i was like trying to register what the hell she's talking abt, she dragged me up..

then, i touched my ear and realized that my whole earring was gone. (the back fell out ytd n i couldn't find it) n i was scared that my ear hole might close so i asked my mum for like stud earrings.. she came back with 3.. a black cherry, an "ok" sign [my mum said when i wear this, i have to agree to everything she says.. -_-''] n a teddy bear.. i was like wtf coz i was thinking more like a small round jewel kinda earring.. but the whole entire family except my dad [like duh] n mama [eeww.. i'm not gonna wear ah ma earrings].. have like big chunky ones.. so i juz have to choose within these.. so in the end, i chose the teddy bear.. but i have to get it changed before mon.. dun think LK n TC will be very amazed with a jeweled teddy bear in my ear. ha..

then, i went to brush my teeth n wash my face.. and i went to my mum and she was like "ok.. go n change then" and i was like.. huh.. go n change? where are we going? u said that there's prawn noodle soup wat.. and she said.. u think i'm so nice to wake u up to have breakfast?! i'm asking u to go out n have prawn noodle soup with me.. -_-''' and i was thinking "oh wow.. what a sweet mum she is..." until i saw the clock on the comp.. it was only 9:15AM! who the hell wakes up at 9 PLUS on a non-working day! [ok.. dun answer my qn if u do] and i was like.. mummy! it's only 9 plus n u woke me up! i thought it was reaching 12noon, that's why u woke me up! why wld i wake up at 9 plus on a non-working day!!! and she was like.. "heh.. but i really wanna go n eat prawn noodle soup now, what..." sigh.. so i went to bathe n change..

sometimes, i juz wonder who's the mother n who's the daughter.. -_-'' ok.. gtg now.. she's all ready to get out of the house..

btw.. can't wait for dinner with Mr D n our families tonight.. :) ya ya.. his name starts with a D.. anyway.. he's going back soon.. so stop it, peeps..

Laterzzz

2008-05-22T22:19:00.001+08:00

One more day to go! :)

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After watching David Cook (American Idol), Mummy wanna grow a beard too.. so that her face won't look so big.. haha.. :) Wacky Mummy..

Real Glad that David Cook won, by the way..

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Did something i never thought i'll ever do.. i did the eballot thingy for National Day tix during work today.. lol.. -_-'''

2008-05-19T17:07:00.003+08:00

I have a fantastic time on Sat with my childhood fren.. we have known each other since forever.. like when we were babies.. haha.. and we haven't seen each other for abt nine yrs? his family moved to the states and he's back for abt 2 wks.. we didn't take any pics on sat though.. haha.. totally forgotten abt it.. too excited in chatting.. :)

We did what we used to do with our families on Sat nights.. we went to Chomp Chomp for dinner.. ate alot (as usual) and then we went to this pub where we spent every sat nights playing darts and pool.. it was cool.. talking abt the past n all... He was my partner in crime.. and the only guy that i could get along with at that age... ahah.. we used to bully all the other kids, including our own siblings.. haha.. and once in a while, we would play pranks on each other..

Coz our families, including a few more, were very tight... we wld even go for some vacations together.. i remember one incident where we were at the resort place and our dads ended up drunk and sleeping on the floor when we woke up in the middle of the night.. Guess what he n i did? lol.. we went to gather all the empty beer cans that we could find and bury our dads in them.. haha.. and we would go around with balloons, threatening to burst them in front of the other kids' faces..

then we would even have sleepovers when our parents go for dinner parties.. once, that arse drew a turtle on my face while i was sleeping.. and it turned out to be permanent marker.. that was the only time he made me cry.. and he felt quite bad.. (at least he has a conscience).. and volunteered to have his cheek drawn in permanent marker.. i drew a butterfly.. haha. u should have seen the look of our mums when they saw us the next morn. :)

Real glad to have him back for awhile.. :) gonna have a dinner party with him n our families next sat night.. heh.. can't wait.. :)

Oh ya.. we were talking alot abt our personal lives as well.. and i shared with him everything abt mr clingy volder.. and he couldn't stop laughing.. -_-'' and he was like.. "u were dumb when u were young.. and apparently u didn't get any brighter since then.." -_-''' i hate him.. haha.. such a piece of crap. he's supposed to be on my side!!!! heh..

Anyway... we didn't tell any of our family members that we met.. coz ever since young, they have been trying to put the 2 of us together.. how disgusting.. he's like a brother to me only.. and we know how excited everyone wld be if they knew we went out on our own.. esp. our dads.. very drama mama.. ahaha..

4 more pathetic days to go! YAY!

Someone juz pissed the crap outta me.. juz like that time, when my grandpa passed away.. and i was laughing n having fun in sch.. and cherie walked up to me and told me off for being so happy when my grandpa juz passed away. what the hell man. juz coz something bad happened.. i'm not allowed to be happy? not allowed to go out? not allowed to have fun? not allowed to have vacations? GROW UP.. if everytime something horrible happens, i have to get depressed n all.. then u know what? there wouldn't be even one happy day in my life. Dun make me get too disgusted with u. u won't like me then.

2008-05-16T20:53:00.007+08:00

Had a very unpleasant bus ride to work today.. Hope it won't happen again..

Most boring day of my life today..

Couldn't take it.. Kept yawning n spacing out.. Nearly fell asleep...

Didn't have appetite for lunch.. ended up finishing the book i brought along.. "A good girl comes undone"

Not bad, quite entertaining.. got me thinking abt stuff..

After that... I..

Ended up reading off http://www.reference.com/ most of the time..

Absorbing some history into my bones.. heh..

Counting down the hours.. then minutes.. till it was time to go.....

Nearly fell while trying to rush out of the horrible place.. -_-'''

5 more pathetic days to go.. Really building up my patience, man....

Lao ban left for home today.. Real sad that i couldn't send her off.. Sigh..

I'm gonna miss my Lao Ban loads....

At least on Monday, i'm off!! Might be visiting my grand aunt..

Can't wait for tmw! Someone that i haven't seen for the longest time [like really really long] is coming down for a visit! Yay!! :) Long awaited reunion.. :)

2008-05-13T20:22:00.003+08:00

Wanted to blog abt stuffs that happened..

Then, i thought..

What's the point of blogging?

Totally felt like a bucket of ice-cold water was poured over my head..

Toodles..

2008-05-12T20:39:00.003+08:00

I juz can't wait to leave...

I seriously think that the time i spent travelling back home or even to there, i could reach JB or further in the same amt of time.. and i hate travelling by train coz i dun wanna be a sardine.

Fucked up life in a Fucked up world..

And i'm tired of being treated like a Primary sch kid..

2008-05-10T18:07:00.004+08:00

Oh My MaMa!!

As u guys all know by now that i haven't gotten my thingy since like Nov.. and yes, i did say i was gonna see the doc but dates got changed..

Anyway... I'm reading up on prolonged intervals between menstrual cycles and all.. and i saw some stuffs that i juz wanted to share with u all.. [erhm.. the guys {eg. Kev, Jon n Dav}, u guys can juz read the other posts, ya?]

Common menstrual disorders include missed periods (amenorrhea), as well as periods that are unusually heavy or long (menorrhagia), unusually light (hypomenorrhea), unusually frequent (polymenorrhea), unusually infrequent (oligomenorrhea) and unusually painful (dysmenorrhea).

Ok.. Is mine unusally infrequent or missed periods?

Young women who have not achieved a regular period after three years of menstruating should consult a physician.

oh my gawd.. i have not achieved a regular period since i had it!

You may have experienced the opposite problem of heavy menstrual bleeding —no menstrual periods at all. This condition, called amenorrhea, or the absence of menstruation, is normal before puberty, after menopause and during pregnancy. If you don't have a monthly period and don't fit into one of these categories, then you need to discuss your condition with your health care professional.

I kinda dun fit into any one of these categories!! can't be i'm having menopause now, rite?

Amenorrhea. An absence of menstrual periods. This condition may be further classified as:
Primary amenorrhea. The lack of a first menstrual period by the age of 16 years. This condition is also known as “delayed menarche.”
Secondary amenorrhea. The absence of menstrual periods in a woman who has previously menstruated regularly. The periods must be absent for at least three months to be considered amenorrhea.

Can't be the primary one.. but the secondary one isn't right too since i never menstruated reguarly before.. How abt periods that has been absent for 7 mths previously?!

Oligomenorrhea. Unusually infrequent menstrual periods. Woman with oligomenorrhea have fewer than six to eight periods per year.

This seems like it..?

Oligomenorrhea can be a result of prolactinomas (adenomas of the anterior pituitary). It may also be caused by thyrotoxicosis, hormonal changes in perimenopause, and Graves disease.

Thyroid!?! Growth?! I'm not liking what i'm reading...

Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS).

A reproductive disorder in which excessive amounts of androgens (male hormones) are produced by the ovaries. PCOS may cause a number or menstrual disorders including amenorrhea, oligomenorrhea (unusually infrequent periods) and polymenorrhea. For many women with PCOS, the menstrual disorders are caused by anovulation, or failure to ovulate, leading to fertility issues as well.

Excessive amounts of male hormones?!!?! WTF?

Ok.. maybe i should juz stop reading.. Shit.. now i'm starting to scare myself..

2008-05-10T17:29:00.002+08:00

Colbie Caillat - One Fine Wire lyrics

I try so many times

But it's not taking me

And it seems so long ago

That I used to believe

And I'm so lost inside of my head

And crazy

But I cant get out of it

I'm just stumbling

And I'm juggling all the thoughts in my head

I'm juggling and my fears on fire

But I'm listening as it evolves in my head

I'm balancing on one fine wire

And I remember the time my balance was fine

And I was just walking on one fine wire

I remember the time my balance was fine

And I was just walking on one fine wire

But It's frayed at both the ends

And I'm slow unraveling

Life plays so many games inside of me

And I've had some distant cries, following

And their entwined between the night and sun beams

I wish I were free from this pain in me

And I'm juggling all the thoughts in my head

I'm juggling and my fears on fire

But I'm listening as it evolves in my head

I'm balancing on one fine wire

And I remember the time my balance was fine

And I was just walking on one fine wire

I remember the time my balance was fine

And I was just walking on one fine wire

But it's frayed at both the ends

And I'm slow unraveling

And I'm juggling all the thoughts in my head

I'm juggling and my fears on fire

But I'm listening as it evolves in my head

I'm balancing on one fine wire....

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway...

Haven't been doing much lately.... has mc on mon n tues, again on thurs n half of fri.. can i stick straws into my cheeks n eyes so that the fluids can all pass out thru that? Come to think of it, it sounds damn gross.. *puke*

Did i tell u guys abt that time my mum was accidentally poked in the eye with a straw? my gawd.. i had wobbly legs when she told me abt it.. shall tell u guys when i do meet up. heh.. shall gross u guys out too..

Lao Ban is leaving soon.. *Sad*

2008-05-05T17:28:00.006+08:00

Ok.. as some of you guys may know.. i said i felt like Spongebob Squarepants..

It's not coz i felt stupid like him.. [orite, Chee Chor] or coz I think that u're patrick.. [ok, cinz] But coz my cheeks felt so swollen with water and it was aching like crap...

So anyway.. i finally realized why today.. Having a sinus attack.. -_-''' i went to see the doc coz i could feel the watery mucus down my throat.. u know, like a leaking nose? but in my case, it juz all happening inside.. n my fav doc was in! haha.. so anyway, he gave me some med for them.. [like duh] and then he was like "take the med n see how.. in the meantime, try not to.." i knew what he was gonna say coz he's like forever telling me the same thing.. so i finished it for him.."not to talk too much?" and he was like.. "ya, glad that u know that.. beside, i dun think u will coz u sound so much like a man" -__-'''' and i was like.. "oh thanks man.. i really heart u.. how cld u say that to ur fav patient" apparently he thot that it was hilarious.. and then he was like.. "how many days of mc u want" i told him this: "i dunno, juz remember to pamper me" n he gave me 2 days' mc! yay! lol.. then we talked abit more before shooing me off coz he said he can't stand how manly my voice is.. -.-

So anyway... dun call me juz to hear my voice.. i'm not planning to pick up my calls anyway.. heh..

2008-05-04T15:58:00.006+08:00

Some pple are having fun annoying the crap outta me lately.. but let's start with the good ones...

Fenny: Being super lame, we were at Centrepoint, walking to the ladies and i saw a t-shirt that had the word "Bello" on it. So i was like Hey! that's my name!! and then ms goh went.. ur name is clarabelle, or belle.. so it's le, not lo.. oh! u can be lilo from lilo n stitch.. -_-''' i seriously didn't know what to say to that.. so i juz walked faster to the loo..

Tyler: By tricking him by taking the escalator up and down to catch up with us.. haha.. sorry, man.. we were bored... but it was fun, rite?

Anyway..

Fenny.. next time, i dun wanna call volder/happy new year on the actual day that u/tyler wanna meet him la..... did u know that he started calling me like abt 9-10 plus? and i didn't pick up coz it was in the middle of the set, so i msged him instead.. in e end, he kicked such a big fuss out of it coz i didn't ask him out earlier. i really wanna smack him.. behaving like a spoilt kid.. blaming me over little crapz.. dunno what's up with him..

Pissed off man.. Sigh...

Oh.. i took a pic of chris' hair.. it's so nice, luscious n long.. her length is close to 4 times of mine.. can u imagine..

It's kinda blur coz ms "touch-me-not" was kept on walking away from me.. trying to act shy as usual.. -_-'''

Oh ya! talking abt being shy.. i asked my mum if i was shy... and this was her exact words: "u? shy? my arse.. u're like the fiercest, moodiest person alive.." Dun ask me what does that got to do with me being shy.. -_-''' i know no idea...

The freaking heat is killing me... u can practically cook an egg on the sidewalk with the heat these days.. *annoyed*

2008-05-02T20:09:00.004+08:00

I received one of the cutest pressie ever! :) take a look at it.. heh..

Even closer look at it....

How abt seeing it EVEN closer?

So cute, rite? :) Ah yo.. i can't stand it.. hahah..

2008-04-27T20:29:00.003+08:00

Had a new haircut to make myself feel better.. Hopefully the feeling will last me for more than a few days..

2008-04-21T23:06:00.001+08:00

i'm super duper nervous abt tmw! dun think i'll be able to slp well tonite... Give me ur support, frens!!!!!

Hopefully, everything will be smooth n fine!

And

I am shy! I'm really very shy la.. why won't anyone believe me? my gawd! can't u guys see my shyness??

2008-04-21T12:30:00.002+08:00

U know.. being sick makes me grouchy..so i dun wish to play games with fake curtis stone anymore..

Anyway..

Fri was fun.. spent the day with tarcy.. we went to Ikea to shop for new stuffs to place in her room.. she even bought a small coffee table which i helped her fix.. :) i love fixing stuffs.. heh.. anyway.. we went back to her place and after fixing the table for her, i went on to dismantle her bed.. it was so much fun!! :) of coz i left the sweeping n mopping to her.. hahaha.. then we changed the rest of her stuffs and settled down to see her pics of her master days.. i love the scenery, man! but coz i was lying on the bed and i was really tired, i fell asleep after awhile.. i didn't even know that fi/mich tried to call me.. lol.. i was meeting the girls for porridge steamboat.. so we left her place in a hurry and i went down to amk.. :)

At least i wasn't the last one to arrive! :P Liwen walked in 5 seconds after me..heh.. i like the steamboat.. :) the best i ever tried, i guess.. coz everything was super fresh.. :) Penny n Silvia came n joined us after that.. it was a really nice night.. had fun laughing n all.. and we took silly pics at Subway where penny decided to go for her second dinner.. mich, u muz send me the pics soon.. :) By the way, Sil.. i love u and all... but i really got quite scared when u sent us back that night... But.. i'm sure u'll be able to drive smoothly soon, ya! :)

Oh ya.. i can't believe that after 4 yrs or so... Terence Wong [not the higher dip one] one of my frens that i lost contact with is now working with Penny.. :) it was really nice n sweet of him to remember my name n how we got to know each other n all.. :) though he was really annoying when we first met.. lol.. Hopefully he has stopped that behaviour.. haha..

2008-04-19T01:50:00.002+08:00

Ohhh.. "Curtis Stone"!!!! Like i said.. send me 4 tix for the World Gourmet Summit 2008 and a chance to have dinner with u.. then i'll believe u..

If not..

I tell u.. when i find out the shithead who is trying to pose as Curtis Stone.. the person is gonna have hell from me.. Basket... Act somemore.. KNS... Piss me off at 1.52AM? nothing else better to do? *Angry*

U better own up instead of me having the trouble finding who it is... Piece of Shit!

2008-04-17T23:26:00.007+08:00

As u guys would have noticed (Not!), i have changed my blog template as well as my taggie.. :)

Now if i can juz remember how to do other stuffs with my blog that i used to do.. Growing old.. can't remember already..

Oh..

Latest news:

Apparently i'm supposed to go overseas in June.. but i dunno when, where n why..

How interesting, huh? Lol..

P.S i juz can't stand Se Bei Bei!!! Annoying..

P.P.S

This is what amanda drew when i pissed her off juz now..

Oh Ya!!

Welcome To My Blog, Tarcy!! :)

2008-04-16T22:58:00.003+08:00

Grandma is sick.. sigh.. with fever n cough.. the fever has finally gone down.. but she's still coughing non-stop.. hopefully it'll be gone soon too...

Didn't have a very good experience with old pple with minor illness like flu or cough.. Grandpa [dad's side] was bed-ridden n had to be feed thru a tube.. then he had flu and fever.. so my aunt brought him to the hospital.. the doc said that it's juz normal flu n he could be discharged the next few days.. then suddenly, he passed away.. it was so unexpected..

So i'm worried abt my grandma now.. ya.. i know she's a healthy person, she can walk and eat normally.. but u can't be sure, can u? i'm not cursing her or anything.. sigh.. i dunno how to explain.. hopefully u guys know what i'm talking abt..

Parents are coming back soon.. not exactly very excited as u guys know.. but i do miss my mushroom loads.. the little shit.. she called to tell me that she sent me an email.. but i totally didn't receive it.. so i went into her email to check which email add she sent to.. [i know her email password] and guess what? she saved it in drafts instead.. -_-'''

2008-04-14T14:10:00.004+08:00

Juz had the most relaxed and one of the best times of my life ytd.. it's real simple but i haven't had this kinda feeling in my family in a long time..

The 3 of us (Nana, Chris n i) spent the afternoon watching "my lovely samsoon" in my room n we didn't fight even though it was like 2 hrs together.. after which, nana n i went to church tog, where once again.. we were making each other laugh.. n we had a nice time (it was actually fun!) having dinner tog and buying stuffs for grandma n chris after that.. did u know that we never had dinner (like only the 2 of us) before? i'm serious.. we are always too busy with our lives with our frens.. or we'll be out with mummy n chris..

And then..

When we went home, we joined chris to watch telly n we were laughing n joking for 5 hrs together.. i can't remember the last time that we can actually survive standing each other for so long.. i really enjoyed my sisters' company ytd, man... which i never knew i could.. n i know that for this kinda thing to happen again? it will take another million yrs or so.. that's the sad truth..

Anyway..

Maybe it's time to head to the doc soon... Haven't had my thingy since Nov.. Juz counted the mths n realized that if i still dun get it for may.. it means that i haven't had it for 6 mths.. though the longest time it didn't come was 7 mths, i'm starting to get worried..

2008-04-11T01:20:00.002+08:00

i juz had to blog abt this.. u know.. i think i'm really talented in making up new words.. like..

Poochini
Sob-listic
Droolalious
Snufflalious

I can't think of any other words i've made so far.. i'm too sleepy to think.. lol.. if i remember, i'll continue.. :)

2008-04-10T21:03:00.002+08:00

Gawd.. I'm juz sick n tired of these kinda stuff, man.. it's so Sec 3..

I juz can't believe pple still do these kinda things esp when they aren't exactly getting any younger. I juz wanted to help, that's all.. how did things become like this? What am i? A slave? An object? What, man? I can't make decisions on my own? I can't help whoever i wanna help? How did baking of a cake got me into such stuff? Seriously, did i do anything wrong? And how could u actually say that someone that i actually trust said that to you? I express interest? Ya.. i express interest in showing u my arse. You know what? Forget it. I dun wanna help anyone anymore. I won't go back there ever again. Never again. I dun wanna care anymore. All coz i dunno how to say no? is that why all these happen? Fine. i will learn how to say no from now on.. It's that is what it takes, i will do it. Someone told me that i should learn to think for myself and stop thinking abt others. I dun owe them anything. I'm really tired.. i really am.. I dunno who to trust anymore. Sometimes pple ask me why i dun wanna share with them my probs that are really bothering me inside.. it's coz i know even if i say it out, no one will be able to help me.. What's the pt of saying then? I might as well juz keep it in. Like i told someone.. I dun show anyone that i'm depressed, so i dun have to share. If i do wanna share, i'll definitely share with alot of pple.

What i'm doing or trying to do is really very very simple. I'm juz trying to survive on this world. Is that so hard to ask for?

And Fun..? I'm really sorry abt ur ear. I wish i could do something to ease the pain or make it less swollen but i really dunno what to do.. if it closes, i'll pay for the next one, k? pls let me lessen the guilt that i have..

2008-04-09T22:18:00.008+08:00

Juz finished reading a book "Just Listen" by Sarah Dessen on my way back home from dinner with not a very happy fren, whom i didn't wanna hang after dinner so we went home..

Anyway...

If u guys have the time, pls go read the book.. it's really good.. it's one of those books that really got me thinking.. abt stuffs.. for your info.. nothing in the book relates to me but the message it brings across juz really touches my heart.. i have no idea what's going on but recently all the books that i borrowed from the library seems to portray the same message across.. is it a hint from the high above? maybe he's trying to give me courage.. :)

Massive changes are heading next week.. Give me strength, peeps.. Hopefully everything will be fine.. i dun deal very well with conflicts if u would have realized.. i juz wanna get on with my life happily. I juz hope that pple will juz go easy on me and dun judge me for what i've done. Some of u will know what i'm talking abt... ok.. maybe only 2 frens.. or... 1..

On a brighter note..

I know this is super duper early but!! i know how i wanna celebrate my bday this yr! lol.. i told mich n grace my idea already.. real excited abt it.. hahaha.. can't wait man.. we're juz gonna chill and relax, k peeps? Erhm.. when i say chill.. dun worry.. i dun mean drinking.. unless u guys wanna after that.. anyway.. i juz wanna be surrounded by all the pple i love.. that's all i wan.. but i know Cinz won't be able to celebrate my bday this yr again.. sigh.. that's really depressing to know though.. but i promise we're definitely gonna have fun! if not.. u guys juz better pretend to have fun! haha.. how comforting, aye?

And..

I was looking through all the pics that i have in my comp and i came around this.. remember these.. ahah.. i seriously think that i do portraits really well, by the way.. enjoy the pics, peeps.. :)

The famous drawing of Cinz.. lol.. :)

One of our sushi dates which is slowly becoming an annual affair instead..

This is obviously taken yrs ago.. my gawd.. i have long hair that time.. *shudders* kev stop laughing.. i know what u're thinking.. -_-''

I have absolutely no idea what sil is doing this pic.. have been trying to figure out to this date.. haha.. :)

All the guys in my higher dip class, being such a sport posing for this pic.. haha :) really miss the days we shared.. no matter how gross it was.. lol..

Last but not least...

The pic that convinced Cinz that there will be no one else who will accompany me on my gross food moments.. :)

2008-04-08T14:43:00.017+08:00

Photos that we took on Friday

Obviously these are not the only photos that we took throughout the nite.. but some are juz way too embarrassing to be placed under public eye.. lol.. we had fun and all... [at some pt of time] haha.. but i'm glad that we went together.. Anyway, thank you "caretakers", Jian Yun for sending us back to Fi's place.. thank goodness Sil drove down.. :) and thanks Marshall n Jian Yun for buying breakie for us the next morn.. :)

But this is seriously the last time i'm going clubbing.. haha.. i'm juz gonna stick to pubbing n my beer from now on.. at least i won't end up with bruises.. :P

2008-04-07T14:06:00.002+08:00

I'm growing old..

Woke up on sun with my lungs aching from i have no idea what and my right arm aching from playing wii.. with my other injuries from fri.. i think the worst should be my lungs.. couldn't breathe too hard or laugh at all.. it was painful and nana seriously didn't help me much coz she kept making me laugh on our way to church n in there.. felt like a bloody old woman.. chris got freaked out when we got back coz my face was pale.. that she made me promise her that i'll see the doc today if it gets worse..

I'm feeling much better already! haha.. anything to escape the doc.. :)

2008-04-02T00:11:00.003+08:00

Think i juz love to be in deep shit too much.. if i have a gun, i'll juz shoot myself in the head.. Feeling so disgusted with myself.. Maybe i juz love being in a f**ked-up life too much.. Juz love torturing myself too much.. Have no idea what's my stupid problem.. I'm so f**king screwed..

No comments are required in my blog by the way for this matter. Be it good or bad. Dun leave me any comments for this post.

2008-03-30T02:33:00.003+08:00

Something gross happened in wala's today that's not worth mentioning.. anyway, thank you for your concern.. Fi, Mich, Fie and Fun.. Esp Mich who came all the way to wala's to make sure that i'm fine.. i really appreciate it, dear.. :) ok.. thanks to JH too.. lol.. even though he had to meet me too coz Mich wanted to come n find me.. haha.. :)

On a brighter note....

Do i look like i love mickey mouse? like seriously? lol.. volder/happy new year bought me another pressie.. key chain with mickey n minnie mouse dangling.. -_-''' even though i like it coz it's pink, i think it's enough of micky mouse coz i already have a mickey mouse four leaf clover hp chain from him.. i'm juz not a mickey/minnie mouse lover.. i appreciate the thought though.. maybe it's time to hint that i like Eeyore more than other Disney characters.. :)

2008-03-29T00:44:00.009+08:00

Fi, Mich n I had our worst steamboat experience ever! it's totally bad, man.. i never felt so disgusted at a eating place in my life.. even if it's the last eating place on earth, i rather eat grass than eat that ever again.. *Grossed out* i promise to tell all of u when i talk to u guys.. Man! It's even worse than the sweet, smiling steamboat we had, Fun!

Anyway..

Parents will be heading to manila from tmw.. promised alot of things to my mum.. sigh.. haven't told her abt fi's sleepover next fri though.. lol.. should be fine, no worries.. i really hope JH goes with us on fri, man.. i dun wanna sit there n drink alone! boohoohoo.. once is enough.. lol.. and i'm really wearing flats, no more mentos advertisement.. haha.. :)

Oh, heard abt the hail storm around my area on wed, rite? it's totally freaky! i didn't see any hailstones though but the rain/wind was so strong that my whole balcony was wet and we thought that it was a typhoon or something.. took a few pics though.. i wish i managed to catch the hailstones falling from the sky like Mich's dad.. it'll be totally cool man.. :)

When the rain first started

After ten mins of rain

The colour difference is so freaky, rite? my gawd.. totally scared the shit outta me, man..

Oh ya, i'm still on the lookout for the portable sewing machine, guys.. keep me posted if u see one.. thanks! :)

2008-03-26T12:14:00.002+08:00

Finally decided to face the truth... Sigh.. it's been killing me for months.. sometimes, it's hard to face the harsh truth... So, please understand if i've lied to u.. i really didn't mean it.. i juz couldn't face it, that's why.. if u guys know me well enough, u'll know that i really hate to lie to my frens esp whom i feel close to.. it's been torturous for me, made me depressed for months..

Who would know what will happen now or the future.. i now know that i have the courage to move forward.. Dear frens, please be there for me and please be understanding.. Thanks babes.. :)

2008-03-24T22:41:00.004+08:00

Was reading trent's blog juz now and he was talking abt a new pictorial in GQ starring Claudia Schiffer and Joseph Gordon-Levitt.. and wow.. Joseph Gordon-Levitt still looks the same.. i used to watch third rock from the sun every week coz of him.. he's so cute and his acting is good too.. when HBO was showing one of his movies "Brick", i watched it like 4 times.. :) he kinda reminds me of Heath Ledger too..

talking abt men.. i finally realized who my fantasy perfect guy is.. :) he's a mixture of Curtis Stone from Take Home Chef and Anthony Bourdain from No Reservations. Curtis is like freaking cute! i melt each time i watch Take Home Chef.. seriously, i would take him home any day.. lol.. he's not only freaking hot [my gawd..the way he stares with his big blue eyes], he's tall, charming, sweet.. and the list goes 0n.. and i like Anthony coz he drinks like a fish.. ahaha.. every episode, he's like drinking each time he eats or has a chance to.. i wanna accompany him on his drink escapades too!! oh, and i like his sense of humour and he oozes manliness.. haha.. :)

Sigh.. i wish i can find a guy with the combination of Curtis' looks and charms n Anthony's wicked sense of humour and manliness.. lol.. and the bonus would be that he can drink like a fish.. ;p but obviously that there isn't someone like that in s'pore, neither will i have the good fortune of having a guy like that.. how sad.. sigh.. i'm gonna die a spinster.. lol..

2008-03-22T14:01:00.002+08:00

Wanted to blog for the past 3 days... but i got lazy and distracted to do other things instead of blogging.. and mood spoilers had to work their magic the night before.. in the end, my poor remote control was the "designated" one to suffer.. sigh.. i was shocked to see its state in the morning n it can't be fixed anymore.. anyway.. had a strong will to blog alot juz now.. but i'm feeling lazy again..

Oh well.. my thighs are aching to high heavens.. i was in so much pain in church ytd.. :( saw anto too.. she was behind me.. we talked for awhile.. she's still the same.. made me laugh.. that silly girl.. i was shocked to see her at church coz she's never this holy.. haha.. she decided to go coz she haven't been to church for a long time and since she was free, she decided to be holy for once.. :) oh, guess what i said when after we said hi and she said how was i? i replied: "i'm dying, my thighs are killing me" can u imagine how much pain i was in to say that in church? lol.. sigh.. she said she gave up standing n kneeling for one part of the mass that she knelt all the way.. man... i really should have done the same.. each time i had to bend my knees, my thighs were like in cramps or something.. T-T it all happened on thurs when my mum n i went to church for Holy Thurs at St. Peter n Paul n we went visiting the neighbouring churches after that.

Sigh.. the whole kneeling process on thurs made my thighs ached like shit and it got worse ytd.. and now, it even hurts when i wanna sit down.. all i hope now is that i can get rid of the pain soon..

2008-03-18T16:13:00.002+08:00

Ear is still not well, went to another doc in town with my mum today.. still feeling a little giddy.. but at least it's no longer aching..

Anyway.. i have 2 food items that i miss alot and i really wanna eat them.. one of them i have no freaking idea where to buy..

* Cinnamon rolls... i remember the times when i was walking home from the mrt station and the smell of cinnamon from st. cinnamon was so heavenly... :) who can resist the sticky chewy sweet delight? sigh.. i can't find any cinnamon rolls now.. T-T

* Cream Cones from the bakery in sunset way.. the crispy pastry cone filled with cream and a cherry on top.. my weekend treat when we used to walk down to the bakery when we stayed there.. i muz find time to go there for a walk soon.. then perhaps i should head to the pizza place too.. the meatballs are heavenly.. :)

But first.. my bloody ear infection has to cleared first.. mummy is threatening to change me into a vegetarian if it doesn't get better soon... *sniff sniff* she's already not letting me eat any meat except fish.. -_-''' [she believes that all other meat has toxic if u have an infection...]

2008-03-14T12:14:00.002+08:00

When i said i wanted to be ill.. i said flu.. Not ear infection... :(

The ear ache is even worse than the last time i had it in my other ear.. it hurts each time i move my bloody mouth.. damnit..

Haven't been a good mood ever since i had it.. and the doc had to try to be funny with me ytd.. first of all.. i can't really hear him.. and i had to process it slowly in my brain.. which didn't seem funny to me in the first place.. can't stand lame doctors.. he was like.. so, u think u're a doctor, huh? and he started to laugh.. and i was like staring at him and went huh? then he went.. coz only docs tend to get ear infections more often coz of the stethoscopes.. and he started to laugh again.. he only stopped laughing when he realized that i wasn't laughing with him and my face was kinda like this --> -_-''

All i can hope now is that my ear will recover faster.. unlike the other ear..

2008-03-13T11:31:00.003+08:00

There are 2 accident-prone pple in my family.. Guess who are they? If u guys can guess it correctly.. i'm real proud of u.. Lol..

* My mum.. She fell down again.. -_-''' this morning.. she's at home with me now..

and me.. but i haven't had any major accident in a long time, alright? :) real proud of myself.. :)

Maybe being accident-prone is in the genes?

Oh ya.. last yr, i had an ear infection in my right ear, rite? now, i have it in my left ear.. as though i'm not deaf enough.. felt dizzy since ytd till this morning.. Gonna see the doc tog with my mum soon..

2008-03-11T20:29:00.004+08:00

Random thoughts/questions that filled my mind today...

I wish my name has an alphabet 'i' in there.. can u imagine how many ways i can decorate the dot on top? it can be a sun, moon, star, butterfly, heart, fly, cherry, strawberry, teardrop, swirl and many many more.. i can do a different style for my signature too!

Where can i find those portable sewing machine? i have a slight memory of having one for my bday when i was young.. and i think i destroyed it by using the screwdriver to open all the parts and i didn't know how to put back.. but i really wan to buy one now.. i can make pouches, little clothes for my bears, boxer shorts for my babes.. lol.. i went to spotlight today, hoping to find one.. but apparently they dun have it.. *sad*

fish dun slp, rite? so i think i have a miracle guppy at home! it can slp! so cool!!

I wish i had a robot or a maid again... I have a craving for hash browns from mac lately but i'm too lazy to walk over to J8 to buy them.. is it me or the frozen ones that supermarkets sell juz dun taste the same?

I wanna have Nigella's food closet! she has everything inside there.. It's a walk-in closet of food.. how heavenly is that? makes me jealous each time i watch her show.. i wish i was her kid or relative.. i'll spend my hols in that closet.. lol

i wanna get flu but noone near me seems to be ill.. how do u get flu on ur own anyway?

Ok.. there are more.. but i think it's enough of random-ing.. ;p

oh.. today was like ex-conrad mates day! ok fine.. i onli saw two... but u guys know how i hardly see anyone i know when i go out, rite? I ran into michelle after having lunch with von n fun.. i wouldn't have noticed her if they didn't point her out.. lol.. she was kinda next to me.. but my specs is wider on the sides wat.. anyway.. it was fun catching up with her.. i haven't seen her since she left oscar's 3-4 yrs ago.. and i saw ken [to cinz, fenny n kev: not the higher dip one..].. lucky he didn't see me.. dun feel like talking to him.. he's annoying..

today was almost like gross day.. first.. e lady sitting next to me in the bus had to wipe some smelly cream on her arms.. it smelt like glue plus tea tree? it was over-whelming.. if that wasn't enough.. the lady sitting diagonally in front of me started puking every few mins into her plastic bag.. and best part? i was on my way to have lunch.. my stomach was churning throughout the whole bus ride..

so i thought that was the end.. but noooo... i was in P.S after lunch [it is NOT my fav place.. the shops juz happened to be there!] to run a few errands for my mum.. when i reached there, i needed to pee badly.. and there was a long queue when i reached the ladies.. sigh.. and i was standing near the basins.. then... this lady came out of the cubicle and stood in front of me to use the basin.. after she washed her hands, she decided to re-tie her hair.. ok.. seriously.. i nearly passed out when she raised her arms.. her b.o was so over-powering!!! oh man! even after i moved away, i could still smell her b.o.. i think it kinda spread far and wide.. i literally had to charge into my cubicle when my turn came.. to escape from the foul smell!

and then.. never mind.. coz i rushed into the cubicle and closed the door, rite? then i realized that the lady before me shat.. so her shit smell still lingered on.. T-T so i ran out again.. and i decided to go to another floor's toilet instead.. at least nothing smelly happened when i was there..

What kinda day is this?! Hmph... is it juz me or what?

2008-03-09T20:26:00.003+08:00

I'm too lazy to blog abt the past week.. :)

so.. i shall leave a few quotations to reflect on..

"Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?"
Francois de La Rouchefoucauld

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." Anonymous

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." Paul Boese

"Friends will keep you sane, Love could fill your heart, A lover can warm your bed, But lonely is the soul without a mate." David Pratt

"A true friend stabs you in the front." Oscar Wilde

"Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained."
John Powell

"Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress." Mahatma Gandhi

"My friend, why have you drifted so far away? All motion is relative, maybe it is you who have moved away by standing still." Anonymous

"Do not save your loving speeches for your friends till they are dead; Do not write them on their tombstones, Speak them rather now instead." Anna Cummins

Have a great week ahead, my dearies.. :)

2008-03-04T02:17:00.002+08:00

Sigh.. I really wanna sleep right now.. but grandma is still up cleaning the hse coz my parents are coming back tmw.. and i can't slp knowing that she's still up cleaning.. guilty conscience is pretty high.. N not that i didn't help k.. i juz finished washing the kitchen floor..

Aww.. come on! it's freaking 2am! N they aren't royalites.. why are we still up doing this kinda shit? ok fine.. the day when grandma n mum were due home from bkk, i panicked and started cleaning the hse like i never did before.. but i woke up earlier to do them, that's all.. not staying up late to clean the bloody house.. Besides.. i told grandma that i'll do them tmw... -_-''' sigh.. i tried all ways to get her to stop.. but she's more stubborn than me, unfortunately..

Anyway..

To my darlingz.. More peace and Less war! i know u guys know what i am talking abt.. come on dearies.. life is too short to be angry/upset with each other.. i know the both of u can work things out.. love you guys loads.. dun wanna see u two miserable.. i'm always here if you need me, alright? *BIG HUGZ*

2008-03-03T01:01:00.003+08:00

LOVE - HATE RELATIONSHIP

Bet u guys muz be wondering with who... who do u guys think it is?

I have a love-hate relationship with the rain..

I mean like.. it is nice to have rain coz the weather is nice to sleep in.. and it's cooling n all.. [u guys know how i turn into a monster when the heat gets to me] It also waters the plants n grass around singapore.. the grass around my block were turning yellow.. poor things..

But!!

having rain also means that the bloody bugs and insects will start running into our homes to take shelter. Basket.. do u know how many times i had to spray mortein around my home? i am so not gonna go near them by hitting them with a newspaper or something.. and i juz used finished my last can! how am i supposed to survive the night with the bloody insects/bugs happily taking shelter in my home? why can't they take shelther somewhere else? like under the block or something? 4th floor seems kinda high for them to be avoiding the rain what................... sigh.. i'm so irritated..

that nite.. at 4 am.. i had to get up and spray this bloody beetle that apparently couldn't fly well.. it was smacking itself against my walls like nobody's biz.. so annoying that i had to get up and find my mortein to spray it around until it dies. i have to remind u guys that it didn't take me a long time coz i am very good at spraying the bloody bugs.. so anyway.. when it eventually died... i didn't like pick it up or anything... u know.. these bugs are very sly.. they love to play dead.. where in the world did they learn something like that, i wonder.. so i juz sprayed a little more on it n went to slp.. and when morning came, i went to check on it.. it died.. [i guess i sprayed too much] but i didn't dare to touch it.. so i had to ask nana to sweep it up for me instead..

i really hate bugs, insects, cockroaches n lizards.. ya ya.. they help us in their little ways.. but.. why can't they look better? wait.. butterflies are pretty but ever since the bloody chinese show abt them being evil... i totally change my perspective of them..

Guess they are juz not meant to be my fav things in the world..

2008-02-27T13:30:00.002+08:00

Mama n mum came back ytd afternoon from bkk.. thank goodness!!! [if u know what i mean] and they bought like 4 plants back.. who buys plants on their overseas trip, man.. -_-'''

So i had to follow my mum to the plant nursery.. [i know i'm a flower killer, but i was forced to go there! no flowers/plants were harmed in the process though, i maintained a distance from them]
i nearly became a snowman coz she wanted to buy some flowers to decorate the house and we had to go to the freezer-like place to choose the flowers.. it was freaking cold, man!! and my darling mum had to choose the coldest spot to have a long conversation with me on how to decorate the house.. i wanted to move but i was feeling too cold.. [exactly like how i refused to move at all and became a statue at eski bar] after what seemed like forever to me.. we finally left the place.. :) then we had to buy a pot and some soil back home too..

and today...

My parents went to bkk!!!!! Yay!!! freedom!!!! until next tues.. :) heehee.. i juz LOVE the beginning of the year.. :)

2008-02-24T23:49:00.005+08:00

MISSING PERSON

If found, pls notify me as soon as possible..

If possible, kindly ask her to return my MSN msgs or send me an email or something.

Last seen/heard: 16 February 2008

She is missed greatly.

Thank you all for your kind assistance.

2008-02-20T22:27:00.003+08:00

I'm so pissed right now that i seriously can't be bothered how you feel when u read this..

I have tried my best to be there for you. Esp when u really needed someone to be there. When u were really down and out, i tried to accompany you whenever i could and listen to you talk abt what happened over and over again.

I never asked anything of you. I never made you do anything that you didn't want to do. Even when i didn't really encourage what you did or wanted to do, i stood by you coz i wanted you to be happy.

Even when you started to change, distant yourself away from me, i didn't say anything abt it. Yes, u may say that i've changed too. Seriously, whatever. Is it wrong of spend time with my other frens. Why can't i chose who i wanna spend time with? Doesn't mean that i spent less time with someone means that i have changed. How many times do u actually want me to repeat that?

Right now, all i can say is... If you're upset or angry with me, tell me. Tell it to my bloody face.

Dun try to get back at me by being sarcastic to me.. I hate that. Once is fine, twice is ok.. Dun do it again and again. Trying to use words to pierce me and expect me to be fine after that. I told u i hate pple being sarcastic to me. I have pple doing that to me at home. I dun need my frens to do that to me too.

I may be nice, i can be tolerant to your behaviour. But there is a limit to it. Dun think that coz i heart you that much means that you can do/say whatever you want. Sometimes, i really wonder what you treat me as. I really do. And sometimes, i really wonder whether you do listen to whatever i'm saying.

Dun say sorry to me after you have read this. I dun need it.

2008-02-17T15:57:00.002+08:00

Cinz left last night..

Sad.. Feel lost without her..

Sigh.. I miss her...

The long wait begins..

Till i see her again..

Guess wat? We are both sick juz now [ i passed it to her, then she passed it back to me]

That little bugger.. come back soon, k? dun make me wait too long..

2008-02-15T14:52:00.033+08:00

Finally... i can load the photos.. :)

Monday, 11th Feb 2008

Went for a manicure..

Fen - Metallic Beige, Cinz - Baby Pink, Mine - Metallic Red

Bored in the bus to Night Safari

Finally reached our destination.. :)

The flash was too bright for fenny's eyes.. after many attempts to open her eyes, she decided to choose this method.. hahha.. --->

On the suspension bridge..

In the Night Safari toilet..

It was a fun night at the Night Safari.. Though, there was a little boo-boo.. But in the end, everything turned out well.. :) After which, we went to AMK's Mac for supper.. Then, we went home.. feeling satisfied but tired.. :D

Tuesday, 12th Feb 2008

We met up at Bishan for chit-chat session

Jimmy came too.. but he left after awhile coz he was tired..

Bored in the cab.. Think Fenny was busy with her fone or something..

Reached Crystal Jade where we met up with Jon, Fi, Mich n Jia Hao..

Apparently, Cinz love the peanuts and lemon barley.. :)

And after dinner, we went to Cold Rush for ice-creams.. then, headed to my fav place.....

Finally got to drink my kilkenny.. *Yay*

After awhile, no one wanna let me take pics of them.. :(

See.. how sad.. :(

Upon seeing them avoiding my camera, mr "good morning" decided to show them how to take a pic.. :)

Wednesday, 13th Feb 2008

Met Chee Chor to go for the lunch with Von & Fun

My Darlingz... :)

Michelle & Ryan

Alicia Wong.. :)

Escargots for appetizers..

After having lunch with them, Chee Chor & I left to HMV to change our earrings..

Then, I met up with Cinz and Kev at Sim Lim to buy her Ipod Nano and digital camera..

Kev brought us to this place where they had really good beef rice.. it's real yummy!! :)

Satisfied Kev

Satisfied Us.. :)

After that, we went to C.K Tang to buy Steph's pressie and then to Border's to buy Kev's dad's book..

We went to chill at Mac for awhile before heading home..

Thursday, 14th Feb 2008

Fenny & I met first to buy Cinz' valentine's day pressie.. :) Then, we met up with her and had dinner at Sushi Teh..

Damn Cute, rite.. :)

After taking this pic, they went to the toilet for the longest time.. knowing them.. something was up.. and i was RIGHT.. I ended up having this for my valentine's day pressie.. :)

Damn huge and cute.. Got alot of stares from pple..

Hungry for Sushi too.. :)

So all these while, when we were there, there was this chef in the kitchen who kept looking at our direction through the glass window and laughed when he saw our pressies.. -_-'' in the end, he even asked us to take a pic for him and his fren.. haha.. wth, man.. -_-''

After that, i needed to pee.. and Cinz couldn't stop laughing when i went into the cubicle..

Coz..

See my legs sticking out.. haha..

Cam-whoring on our way to MS..

Fenny's valentine's day pressies..

Cinz' valentine's dat pressies

My valentine's day pressies.. :)

Last but not least..

Kev's valentine's day pressie.. hahaha..

Oh.. let me show u what happens when flowers end up in my hands.. -_-'''

Nice Rose..

After which, it will become...

Sigh.. i think i can juz resign to being called the "Flower Killer".. -_-''

Please dun ever buy me flowers.. haha..

2008-02-15T13:55:00.002+08:00

I hate the internet..

I wanted to load the pics that i have taken since monday on friendster and it refuses to load..

I wanted to blog with the pics.. and it refuses to load..

I give up.. have been trying to do this for the past 3 hrs..

Crappy.

2008-02-09T21:39:00.000+08:00

First day of chinese new year.. Met Cinz first at Bishan in the evening and went to P.S to play arcade. Then at abt 9 something, we walked to Somerset to meet tyler and fenny.. Went to Kbox and sang till 1 something and talked for awhile before heading home..

Second day of chinese new year.. Met fun and von first before going to P.S to meet Joyce for chit-chat session.. After which, Joyce left for home and we went for dinner at Jack's Place.. Decided that we still wanna hang.. so we went to indoor stadium there to sit and drink and talked abt everything under the sun [oops, moon].. Went home at abt 1 something..

Third day of chinese new year.. Met Sha n david for dinner at Sushi Teh [annual meeting].. ate too much (as usual) and had tea/coffee at starbucks before heading home.. Went home at abt 9 plus.. supposed to meet fun for drinks but it didn't fall through.. but it is good in a way coz i haven't been home so early in a long time for a saturday.. :)

It has been a great chinese new year so far.. :) have to do visiting tmw, though.. damn.. dun like to socialize with strangers nowadays.. sigh.. have to put on my fake smile.. how crappy..

Monday, we'll be going to night safari coz cinz wanna go there.. can't wait.. perhaps i should stay over at her place to talk crap all night.. haha.. at least there won't be any jigsaw puzzle that she wants me to complete for her.. she's so evil.. the last time i stayed over at her place, she refused to let me rest coz she wanted me to complete it.. kept hitting me with her stupid mahjong stick massager.. that abuser.. haha..

Anyway, i decided not to care whether anyone might get upset after reading my blog [actually long time ago, but i was too lazy to blog abt stuffs that happened] it's my life and it's my choice who i wanna hang out with or do whatever i wan.. why should i care so much for? sometimes, i think i care too much abt other people's feelings.. [thick-skinned.. haha]

Oh.. i miss going to wala's for shirlynn and the unxpected.. even brandon's awful singing.. haha.. though they won't be singing juz for today and next week.. but it's juz weird la.. sigh.. i will juz have to get through it by listening to my mp3.. juz realized that i haven't had my kils since last sat too.. sigh..

well...

i'm off to join my "shhh.... i'm thinking" sis to watch telly.. :) enjoy the remaining days of cny, peeps.. collect as much ang baos as possible k? tata..

p.s

i swear one of these days, i'm gonna kill volder/happy new year.. freaking annoying the crap out of me.. argh.. *pissed*

2008-02-06T15:17:00.000+08:00

With my mum's advice in mind.. Throw away everything that u haven't touched in years.. I did my spring cleaning today, it's amazing how much dust can be accumulated over a few years... [dun eeww me k.. u guys dun do spring cleaning often too.. :P]

While cleaning, i saw letters, pics n pressies from like 6-7 years ago n without my mum's knowledge, i kept them with my box of letters.. Thought abt the lovely past.. abt how innocent we were in our thinking and all.. sigh, my gawd.. how much things have changed over the years.. it's freaking scary..

In the end, i threw out 5 big plastic bags worth of stuffs and i finally went through the stuffs that i brought home on my last day of work in conrad.. Displayed my Mr. Potato, and the bottle of seashells on my table.. :)

Had a little flea market too.. we all displayed all the things that we wanna throw away but still reusable or new and we will take whatever we fancy.. that's the nice part of having sisters.. haha..

Well...

Now i am ready to begin 2008. Ready for changes.. i have let go all the things that i have been clinging on for so long.. :) [except for the box of letters.. that's a BIG no-no.. never gonna throw that away..]

Happy Chinese New Year, peeps.. :)

2008-02-04T00:27:00.000+08:00

Edited

Went over to a fren's house to chill with a couple of frens today [sunday]..

It was fun.. Ate instant noodle with luncheon meat [very rare these days], fried eggs and kim chi.. Dyed frens' hair for them, played games and chilled in front of the telly watching "sex in the city" dvds till midnight..

It was very relaxed and juz being in the company of frens that i can have alot of fun with..

As i was taking the cab home, after sending my other fren off, i passed by Adam's road.. Each time i pass by there, i get reminded of an arsehole who stays there.. [unfortunately] then when we passed over the condemned place, i had to see his "dream home" too.. felt nauseous and had the urge of setting the place on fire..

Anyway.. it got me thinking about alot of things after that.. Kinda added up from topics that were brought up on sat with my usual and today's topics at my fren's place.. "sex in the city" helped too..

One thing is for sure is that one more time someone asks me when i'm gonna have a bf or why i dun wanna go with happy new year/volder.. i am gonna kill that person..

This is seriously madness. I am only 24 this yr.. what's the big hurry? am i bothering pple? do i look pathetic by myself? do i have to throw myself at someone who says that he likes me? for goodness' sake, let go pple.. i thot i had already said earlier how i felt abt pple asking me to get a bf..

Hello.. I ain't complaining, why should u guys be?

And i am not gonna choose happy new year/volder.. so what if he is nice to me? so what if he is sweet to me? Do i have to be with him juz coz of those reasons?

gawd.. i wan someone that i can communicate with.. not someone that i can only talk face to face coz he confuses me each time we talk over msn, or phone calls or sms.. drives me crazy each time i'm trying to figure out what the hell he's talking abt..

i wan someone that can take most of my crap and not try to piss me off every 5 mins.. i wan someone who can take care of me.. i am tired of taking care of pple.. i wan someone who dun behave more like a girl than i am.. oh pls.. i feel more manly than him..

Isn't these reasons good enough for pple to know why i'm not gonna be with him?

Yeah.. i am scared of being single at the age of 40 with no family to call my own.. i am scared when i think that all my frens might get married and settle down..

But this kinda thing takes time.. I dun wanna rush into things juz because i am scared of being alone..

So leave me alone peeps.. spare me, pls.. I got more things on my mind than think about relationships now. Doesn't mean that i dun share what's going on in my life right now means everything is rosy right now.. N pls dun ask what they are coz i dun intend to share with anyone. I'm sorry but i know that i have to face it sooner or later and i can handle by myself.

I know u guys care alot for me and i love u guys loads too.. So i hope that u guys can understand..

2008-02-01T22:36:00.000+08:00

Wanted to blog quite a bit..

But kinda got lazy to blog all abt it..

Though i do have something to say..

I'm not that complicated. I am a simple person. Stop thinking that i have a motive in doing things. I don't.. It is actually very simple. Try looking at things at a simpler point of view.. Perhaps then, u guys won't be too hard on yourselves.

If you guys can't see things from my point of view.. I'm very approachable. Ask and you shall get your answer. As simple as that..

I'm not avoiding anyone, neither am i distanting myself from anyone. Stop making things so complicated and stop reading too much into stuffs. Please.. Nothing is happening.

Gawd.. Is it me or more pple are feeling that way abt me?

Sigh.. what the hell is going on?

2008-01-29T23:20:00.000+08:00

So...

I reached home n found that my mum placed the fish tank outside our hse and there were a couple of fishes in there..

Took a closer look.. Found a dead yellow fish... Told my mum who was playing online mj when i opened the door..

Both of us ended up staring at the dead fish and singing "yellow submarine" by the beatles.. hahaa..

********

Cinz is coming home in 5 days' time.. can't wait!!!

Have alot of things to share with her.. :)

She has finally become a girl.. heehee.. can't wait to see the "new" her.. hopefully, i won't faint in shock..

But..

At least my grandma won't mistake her for a guy now..

HHAHAHAHAHA..

********

Oh Ya..

Something that i can't stand..

I can't stand it that there are pple that i haven't spoken to since we left primary sch.. even though we belong to the same sec sch but we ended up in different classes coz they could go to express.. and they decided to pretend not to know u coz they dun wanna be associated with u..

AND THEN..

suddenly, after years of leaving sch and the pretence.. they decided to meet up with u.. have a get-together.. a reunion.. and started to add u in friendster or facebook even though friendster has been there for the longest time.. and start acting fake.. pretending that those 4 yrs in sec sch, nothing happened..

BUT..

We should all learnt to forgive and forget.. so i did add them in friendster and facebook.. hopefully, something good will happen..
***********

I'm sorry Mel.. i dun mean anything.. i would LOVE to meet up with u and all.. Juz bothered me for awhile, that's all..

2008-01-29T11:40:00.000+08:00

5 more Days till i see Cinz..

Can't wait..

Can the day faster come?

I dun think i can hold on anymore..

2008-01-17T01:15:00.000+08:00

If i said i wasn't upset.. i will be kidding u.

If i said i wasn't angry.. i will be kidding u.

I juz dun wanna think anymore..

Fine..

I will make sure things be like what u wan it to be.. sick n tired..

Dun test me..

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Hate it when u do something sweet for me.. coz i know it won't last long..

When u show ur care n concern.. it makes me feel so bad that i have been the most horrible shit to u and i feel so bad n guilty towards u.. and i would start trying to make amendments to u..

and then..

sooner or later, something would happen that will make me dislike u again..

Pops.. tell me.. what exactly happened?

i still remember sitting on ur shoulder with nana on the other side.. laughing n playing.. saying that we 3 are the most precious things in the world.. how did things become like this?

I still remember when we used to be close.. mummy and u went overseas.. i actually cried and hugged u when u guys were gonna leave for the airport.. but yet now.. i juz can't wait for u to be overseas.. even counting down the days..

i still remember being carried by you and snuggling up to u n buried my whole face in ur neck during ur fren's wedding dinner coz i was so shy to meet new pple..

Then things had to change ever since the day i fell down the stairs.. we became distant.. i didn't know u anymore..

I know u're very upset abt things being like this too.. why can't u open up to us? why can't u open ur heart to us even when i said i hate u.. even when i kept on hitting my hand.. even when i cried until there was no tmw.. even when i begged u to open to us..

i guess all of us need to play a part in what happened to us now.. will the day ever come where all of us can sit down n talk n laugh without arguing?

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I dun need much.. I juz need beer over the weekend with my usual..

Can't wait..

May the alcohol drown my sorrows..

2008-01-12T21:06:00.000+08:00

Wanna know how lucky i can be?

Today after work, yong jia, ailing n i went over to Starhub @ somerset to get ailing's new fone...

after which, yong jia left for her family dinner.. so ailing n i decided to share a cab back, like we always do..

But.. Guess what?

I spent one freaking hour to reach home..

Why?!

Coz after sending ailing back, and saying my address.. i fell asleep until the uncle asked me whether i live at street 3.. and i woke up in a shock coz since when Bishan had street 3 and when i looked out of the car window.. Guess where was i?

Simei! Simei! Does Bishan sound like Simei in the first place?! i wanted to faint on the spot la!

wah lao.. i couldn't believe it..

and by the time i reached my home, my butt was numb.. -_-'''

Can't believe this.. i hardly fall asleep in cabs.. and juz this time, i decided to take a short nap.. i ended up in simei..

what luck do i have, man....

2008-01-06T21:41:00.000+08:00

Cheesed off once again..

My mum, sisters n i went for church today.. we decided not to go to our usual one coz we were running late.. so we decided to go to the one @ TP..

and i'm never going there again.. it was my first time there with my mum n sisters.. the last time i went there was with frenz and it wasn't so bad..

i saw a lady clipping her fingernails while listening to homily..

AND

i had 2 ladies staring at my sisters n me throughout the whole mass.. what? juz coz my mum is chinese and the 3 of us look like malay.. what, man?!?! we can't sit together? can't hold hands/link arms throughout mass? can't attend mass coz we look like malays?

felt like a bloody animal in a zoo.. sick n tired of this.. hate going to new churches without my dad.. at least my usual one, most of the community saw us grow up.. so they know us.. either than that, they juz love to stare at us.. which i juz dun get.. stupid and annoying.. i juz wanted to pluck out their eyeballs coz they dun seem to get the hint after glaring back at them..

so much for being a racial harmony country...

2008-01-03T02:57:00.000+08:00

Okk... I'm getting real cheesed off right now..

What's with everyone telling me to get a bf? Shimin kept telling me that, Fenny too.. And a whole truck load of other pple..

Wat? do i look like i need a bf right now?

I dun need another arsehole to ruin my life.. i like the fact that i can meet my frens as n when i wanna meet..

I dun need a man/guy right now.. I have enough problems as it is..

And!!

I juz turned 23, for goodness sake..

AND!!

Can we juz stop talking abt u-know-who [volder, happy new year]? My gawd.. we are JUZ frens.. that will never ever change..

The worst case scenario, if i am still single by like 35 or something.. i will juz get pregs by artificial means and raise my kid with my frens n family.. [i really hope it will be a girl]

So stop bugging me peeps.. Aarrghhh..

2008-01-01T20:59:00.000+08:00

So this is a start to 2008...

Not very excited to start the new year coz i know that this yr.. there will be alot of drastic changes which will definitely dampen my spirits.. and there will be nothing i can do abt it..

i guess the only thing i am looking forward in 2008 is that in feb, cinz will be coming back.. either than that.. i juz hope that i can get pass this year peacefully and hopefully, i won't have to go thru too much pain..

that is not asking for much, rite?

2007-12-28T01:18:00.001+08:00

A fren once told me when we were in sec 2...

When u're sad.. drink as much water as you can.. U'll feel better..

And..

I've been doing that since then..

2007-12-27T13:24:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a fun day... :)

Had lunch with the usual gang.. thanks for making time for lunch.. really appreciate it.. really miss having lunch with my gang, esp with von coz she's real busy this christmas.. :) They were so sweet.. went to buy an ice cream cake to celebrate.. and making me blush by singing the birthday song extremely loud...

then, we went to Osim to buy fun's mum's pressie.. of coz, the rest of us had fun trying out the different kinds of products they offer.. esp the idesire.. :) after which, i went with chee chor to orchard.. as i was there too early, i followed chee chor to meet her mum and aunt.. her aunt was kinda scary.. haha.. [u should know why, chee chor]

mich called me when i was trying on clothes.. so she came to meet me and we went to find fi and we walked to orchard parade hotel together to meet jon.. Dinner was good... :) it has been a very long time since the 4 of us and only the 4 of us had dinner.. i really loved the pressie that jon gave.. i was shocked coz i couldn't believe that someone has actually read my mind on something that i wanted to buy.. haha.. but i love all my pressie that were given to me, k?

after dinner, we went to our usual hangout @ liquid kitchen.. chit chat until midnight.. jia hao came to join us at abt close to midnight.. [mich's siamese twin] haha.. oh ya.. they ordered a slice of cake for me and sang damn loudly too.. embarrassed for the 2nd time.. but it was all good.. :) but the cake was.... sigh.. i dun wanna think abt it anymore.. haha..

Okie.. gtg now..

And..

Cinz.. it was really great to hear your voice again after quite awhile.. i really miss u.. i'll count down to 3rd Feb.. by then, i will be able to sit with u at our circle of trust again.. *hugz*

2007-12-26T00:07:00.000+08:00

I'm officially 23 yrs old..

This yr, alot of things happened.. but it always seem to be the same cycle.. juz that the pple involved are different..

Though i wish my life can be alot simpler and less stressed... it was a good yr overall..

This is for someone.. i know u'll know it is for you when u read this:

I dun like to be tied down by stuffs.. I dun see why it's a big deal if we dun meet for a few days or even weeks.. i juz wanna spend time with my other frens.. is that wrong? By not hanging out often doesn't mean that our friendship has died or i'm ignoring u or i'm hiding something away from you.

I really dun understand why this has to happen again... similar situations happened in sec sch n shatec.. how ironic..

Anyway...

Here's a little guide to my smsing style to help those in need to understand how i am feeling thru sms..

* The sms has 2-3 full stops after completing a sentence.. and one or more smilies [like this - :)] This means that i am in a good/happy mood

* The sms has 2-3 full stops after completing a sentence.. but no smilies at all.. This means that i'm starting to get irritated or i wanna slp soon..

* The sms has only full stop after completing a sentence.. no smilies at all.. This means that i am angry or highly irritated already

* The sms has 1 or no full stops.. no smilies and very short replies.. This means that i am very angry and i dun wanna continue smsing already..

okie.. i'm getting sleepy.. gonna slp now..

oh ya.. cinz..? i didn't mean to miss ur calls.. u juz happen to call me at very wrong times.. like i forgot to bring my fone when i went grocery shopping with my mum, i was too wasted to know if everyone called me, i was in church.. sigh.. perhaps we should set a standard time that u might call so that i will be on high alert? can consider.. haha..

2007-12-20T09:46:00.000+08:00

Guess what, Peeps??

I'm finally an aunt.. after waiting for more than 6 yrs, i'm finally one.. i'm so happy... and my nephew is freaking cute.. :)

He was sleeping k? so these were the limited pics i took.. and besides, my nephew's like a king.. i had to practically wait/sit for 2 hrs outside the house before i could go in n take a look.. coz there were way way tooo many pple..

oh ya.. and the fried rice tasted strangely like our primary sch's fried rice.. how nostalgic.. haha.. i missed it so much.. esp when i spend whole of pri 2's recess eating only fried rice...

Gtg now.. before i leave.. here's wishing u guys:

2007-12-04T20:14:00.000+08:00

Everytime when u do something nice for me..
Makes me feel guilty..
And when i decided to be nicer to you from now on..
You juz have to ruin it by being mean..

I dunno how much i can take..

You mean you show your love for us by being mean and sarcastic to us? Forget it.. I dun need it..

When you're angry with me, scold me then.. Why do u scold mummy instead? She didn't do anything wrong.. I rather get scolded or even slapped as long as mummy doesn't get any scolding at all.. Besides, it won't be the first time i got slapped by you..

2007-12-02T20:09:00.000+08:00

I think i'm falling sick.. my nose has been leaking for the past few days.. and i've been waking up with a slight sore throat..

Anyway..

Went to wala's ytd with fun n al.. and before that, i met dav on msn and found out that we were gonna be at the same place [holland v] so we decided to meet up for awhile. shirlyn was awesome as usual.. but there were some very unwelcome pple standing near us that were irritating the shit out of us so we didn't really enjoy it as much as previously. But i guess my dear little blob was juz happy looking at shirlyn.. hahahaha..

I stayed for 2 sets then hub n i left tog to share a cab home and chit-chat on the way back.. miss him so much. and we were complaining abt sha as usual.. [babe.. where the hack are u?] man.. i was so tired that i fell asleep after bathing n watching a bit of tv... [which i think it's gd.. :)]

feeling damn uncomfortable.. haven't had my thingy for 2 mths.. crap... *annoyed*

oH!! Jon and amanda are back in sg!!! so happy!! miss them alot.. now.. if my bitch can come back, it'll be very perfect!! sigh.. i think i can only dream of that for now.. I miss u and i can't wait for feb to come!!!

Weird sightings of the week:

* a grp of little I tourists taking grp photos in front of KK hospital.. they were posing with the building behind.. who takes tourist pics of a hospital?!?!

* a couple waiting at the traffic light and the girl decided that it's the right time to squeeze the guy's pimple.. GROSS & unhygenic!!!!

2007-11-20T17:37:00.000+08:00

I totally forgotten how to make pancakes!!!

So i decided to search thru the pancake recipes online.. AND suddenly..

i felt as though i haven't done flour-related stuffs in the longest time!!!

I start to qn myself.. which i seriously need some answers.. so help me if u can..

- Is all-purpose flour the same as plain flour?

- Muz we really add in baking powder to the pancake mixture?!

- Is the baking powder added to make the bubbling effect when we pan-fry the pancake?

- Is vanilla extract really neccessary?

- Why do u need to add salt and sugar to the pancake mixture? can't i juz add sugar since i like my pancakes sweet?

Gawd...

I never knew pancake recipes were that hard to understand.. -_-'''

2007-11-19T15:40:00.000+08:00

Celebrated volder's bday on sat.. Met in town, he was late again.. -_-'' ended up buying 2 bks to read whilst waiting for him.. after meeting him, which seemed forever, we shopped for his pressie.. went to alot of shop to look for it.. finally he found one that he really liked.. i never been so shy in a shop before.. [for all my dirty-minded frenz.. it's nothin kinky alrite.. it's not s*x-related] i nearly died from blushing in the shop.. haha...

then went for dinner.. after eating too much [as usual] , we decided to watch beowulf.. but there wasn't good seats in cine or plaza sing and cathay didn't have late shows on that.. so we ended up walking back to nydc @ heeren.. had our usual drinks and dessert. then headed home @ abt 120am?

and guess what.. fun was at cine watching beowulf when we were at nydc.. hahaha.. how coincidental, dun u think.. singapore is really too tiny already.. :)

anyways...

Nighmares.. the one i had on sat nite.. is really too scary for me.. i was so frightened that i couldn't remember the 2nd verses to "Our Father" and "Hail Mary".. which made me panic more.. thank goodness my novena booklet was on my table.. felt alot better after saying my rosary..

so i decided to stick to the slping pills that al gave me.. at least i won't have nightmares from it.. brilliant idea.. haha..

2007-11-15T19:54:00.000+08:00

Hey Guys...

I'm sorry for mia-ing for so long...

Updates:

Went to catch "Stardust" with al n ah fun.. it was good.. though, i didn't feel anything abt the show.. it was juz like.. ok.. it's over, i can finally stand and my butt can stop being so numb..

Actually, i can't seem to feel any emo.. yeah, i still laugh but it doesn't really make my day or anything..

Went for a wedding dinner with Volder on sun.. (cinz, u should know who) totally spent the whole time entertaining him n me coz i didn't know any one besides him.. didn't eat much coz the food kinda sucked.. so we went off to find our fren who was working nearby for drinks.. waited for her to finish work at abt 130am? then went off to insomnia (how ironic) for more drinks.. went home close to 430am..

Went to Von's place for dinner (late one) with the usual suspects.. Had pizza and a little side dishes.. drank a little too.. went home abt 1240? then we went home.. of coz the bloody cab had to decide to speed things up after sending ah fun home.. then al.. i nearly puked in the freaking cab.. thank gawd i didn't..

Then the rest of the days juz went on like "blahhhh".. not worth mentioning at all...

Oh ya.. i went for a haircut.. but the usual suspects said that there's no diff.. volder thot that i went to straighten my hair as i met him aft the haircut.. which he has concluded that there wasn't any changes to my hair as well.. How sad.. but i think my mum feels worse coz she paid for it.. haha..

OKie..

Toodles.. till next time..

2007-11-10T03:11:00.000+08:00

I dunno what's wrong with me..

I'm juz reluctant to do anything anymore..

My parents will be back tmw.. Excited to see my mum.. But..

The tensions will begin again..

I hate the feeling..

Can't sleep at night at all.. I'm afraid to lose the freedom i have right now.. no annoying person to bug me.. [not my mum]

Everytime i feel like moving out, i think abt my grandma and i can't bear to do it.. esp ever since she scared the shit out of me last fri..

2007-11-02T03:30:00.000+08:00

There will be 3 short stories.. and i probably get killed by them when they see these...

1st Story

I'm so bored at work.. emails.. n more emails.. and what's that blob doing? Annoying.. I shall loosen up myself now and perform a magic trick..

Ok.. See! there isn't anything hiding in my mouth except my tongue.. *thank gawd that blob left for somewhere else*

Count to 3 *p.s why did he come back -_-*

TaDa!!! see!!! now there's something in my mouth!!

Thank u... thank u very much.. *that blob better not turn around right now*

2nd Story

Omg!! what's that on that building?!?!

omg! what the hell!?!?!?!?

Tell me tell me!!! what do u see?!!?!

U dunno who's that?!!?! oh..

*awkward silent*

I thot i saw superman.. But.. It was juz a bird..

3rd Story

Why?! why hasn't clara msged me?!!?

Coz she rather msg me?!?!

Hmph!!!! Who said so!?!

Aww... come on.. let me give u a hug!!!

Erhmm... why are u reaching for my neck instead?

STOP reaching for my neck!!!!

THE END

As u guys all know by now that i'm very very bored at night.... esp at 3am.. :)

The following story is a very special request made by someone.. but i have this feeling that she's gonna regret asking me to do a story for her.. ahhaha..

Once upon a time, in the singleton land, there lived 3 best frens.. they used to sing their own unique song:

We are 3 happy single girls!! 3 Happy Single Girls!!! We need no shit from the men!! :)

*But one Day*

A Dark Knight *sorry abt the pun* appeared!!! And..

With his Award-Winning Smile.. A miracle happened!

So.. her best frens decided to give their blessings to the couple..

AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.. :)

THE END!

2007-10-31T22:11:00.000+08:00

Halloween...

Halloween always reminds me of Huiling.. coz..

She was the first person to tell me abt halloween..

and..

I get reminded of how someone thought that Hui was playing with dark magic.. haha.. Hui was fascinated with taro cards, witches and spells for some period of time..

I guess i juz miss my Hui.. when she came back, we didn't even have the time to meet up.. i feel so bad..

Disney channel is having alot of halloween themed shows, some of them are pretty good.. chick flicks.. :)

Anyway..

Having massive migraine at least twice a week.. should i see the doc or it's perfectly fine?

2007-10-30T20:09:00.001+08:00

It's time for pictures.. been awhile since i uploaded any pics..

Second time my table is so neat.. when i left.. :)

Flowers that lao ban n some colleagues gave me..

Some of the stuffs that i had to carry home.. the hello kitty packet (marshmallows) was given by von n ah fun and the massager was given by alicia

Amanda n i goofing around.. :P

Chee chor was bored and made me wear the stupid reindeer on my head.. :/

We heart each other alot.. :)

To declare our love for one another.. ahahahhaa.. *puke*

Matching shoes.. :)

I miss chee chor.. she's coming back in nov.. i can't wait.. :)

2007-10-28T18:08:00.000+08:00

I really dunno how much more i can take..

I slept at 5am on Sat morning, woke up at close to 1pm.. then.. i couldn't sleep until 12noon today (sun).. almost the same as last week..

and then my l'l sis had to piss me off coz she tried waking me up at 3pm.. couldn't get up coz i was feeling giddy.. then she had to pass some stupid comment when i told her not to disturb me coz i slept at 12 noon. she said this.. "no one forced u to stay up so late what"..

crap.. do u think i have nth else better to do with my life than stay awake in the night while everyone is asleep? i really wanna have a good sleep at night but i can't. how did it become that i forced myself to stay awake. Not as though the shows at night are damn interesting.. i wish i can slp at 10 plus 11pm.. coz ur body organs recuperates at different timings at night that's why u shouldn't stay up too late. but what choice do i have?

if someone said that i could have one wish.. i would wish that i could slp soundly at night for the rest of my life..

and u know..

maybe i'm not meant to be too happy.. the 3 happiest days of my life always end up turned into something devastating by the end of the day. the third one that happened recently reminded me of the 2 other incidents.. why muz it be like this?

sigh..

2007-10-24T20:12:00.000+08:00

Sigh..

Freaking ear has an infection.. went to see the doc on Mon.. and he said that it's an infection and it's pretty serious. i've gotta go back tmw for another check up on my ear.. i'm having a pus-filled ear.. BooHoooHoo... Super Grumpy..

ANyway..

i finally decided to join the stupid community thingy that ivy has been bugging me to join.. and..

i dun see what's so exciting abt it? what's so fun abt poking someone? and the stupid security checks are driving me nuts..

Call me old-fashioned.. but i dun like it at all..

2007-10-21T22:34:00.000+08:00

Grumpy.. Grumpy.. Grumpy..

My left ear is blocked.. can't hear very well.. bought ear drops already.. hopefully it'll work anytime soon...

Slept for only 2 hrs.. from 7am till 9am.. could have slept longer if stupid san didn't call aL.. after i got up, i called her to scold her like crazy.. she kept pretending that the connection is very bad.. and we ended up watching doremon.. -_-

Miss my parents.. weird feeling.. oh well.. better enjoy my freedom whilst it lasts..

Hopefully, i'll be able to slp tonight.. saw some interesting movies to watch at HBO though...

I wanna be Grumpy Carebear now.. hmph...

2007-10-16T20:42:00.001+08:00

Msning with Cinz now..

Was telling her that i was clearing my things last nite aft i got home.. and i found a...

Pile of Backstreet Boys' post cards... hahhaa... and we started laughing abt how crazy we were..

here's how our conversation went:

Clarabelle = Me
spontaneously idiotic. = Cinz.. kinda like duh...

Clarabelle says:
eh.. u know what
Clarabelle says:
ytd i was clearing my desk
Clarabelle says:
and guess what i found?
spontaneously idiotic. says:
hahaha another of my 'male' photos ?
spontaneously idiotic. says:
hahahahahah
Clarabelle says:
hahahahha h
Clarabelle says:
no la
Clarabelle says:
crazy ah
Clarabelle says:
hahahaha
Clarabelle says:
i found my pile of backstreet boys postcards
spontaneously idiotic. says:
OMG
spontaneously idiotic. says:
HAHAHAHAH
spontaneously idiotic. says:
DATS NFUCKING OLD SCHOOL
Clarabelle says:
i was so horrified man!!! i threw them away..
Clarabelle says:
hhaha
spontaneously idiotic. says:
siao y throw
spontaneously idiotic. says:
haha
Clarabelle says:
i was like what the hack did i see in them
spontaneously idiotic. says:
send to me la
Clarabelle says:
for what
spontaneously idiotic. says:
u never send me postcard
Clarabelle says:
i threw them out already la
Clarabelle says:
too late
spontaneously idiotic. says:
eh EXCUUUSEE ME
spontaneously idiotic. says:
I LUV NICK LAST TIME K
spontaneously idiotic. says:
hahahhaha
Clarabelle says:
who didn't
Clarabelle says:
hahahahah
spontaneously idiotic. says:
and AJ
spontaneously idiotic. says:
haha
Clarabelle says:
ewww
Clarabelle says:
i liked nick n brian
spontaneously idiotic. says:
omg i cant believe i luv aj
spontaneously idiotic. says:
jaja
Clarabelle says:
yeah balls
spontaneously idiotic. says:
omg hahahaha
Clarabelle says:
that's so gross
spontaneously idiotic. says:
same as my fren
Clarabelle says:
hahahaha
Clarabelle says:
aj and his noodle hair
Clarabelle says:
ewwww
spontaneously idiotic. says:
i noe i hated spice girls. till now.
Clarabelle says:
hhahaha
spontaneously idiotic. says:
wuhauhaua
Clarabelle says:
ohman
spontaneously idiotic. says:
no AJ with the goatie
Clarabelle says:
i used to own a spice girl polaroid camera
Clarabelle says:
hahaha
spontaneously idiotic. says:
WEUHAUHAUHAUHAUAHUAH!
Clarabelle says:
yeah!!
Clarabelle says:
ahahaha
spontaneously idiotic. says:
I GOT THAT CAMERA ALSO LA
Clarabelle says:
HAHHAHAHAHAHAA
spontaneously idiotic. says:
hahahaha
Clarabelle says:
HAHAHA
spontaneously idiotic. says:
FUCK
Clarabelle says:
WTF?
spontaneously idiotic. says:
HAHA
Clarabelle says:
HAHAHAHAAHA
spontaneously idiotic. says:
omg im FUCKING LAUGHING OUT LOUD NOW LA
Clarabelle says:
can i juz faint now?
spontaneously idiotic. says:
hahaha
Clarabelle says:
hahaha
Clarabelle says:
YEAH man!!
Clarabelle says:
hahahaha
Clarabelle says:
hahahah h
spontaneously idiotic. says:
lucky no one arnd me la
spontaneously idiotic. says:
haha
Clarabelle says:
this is hilarious!!!
Clarabelle says:
haha
spontaneously idiotic. says:
wtf laaa hahaha
spontaneously idiotic. says:
wots with the damn bands n stuff
spontaneously idiotic. says:
my fren even join club lor
spontaneously idiotic. says:
wuhauhauha
Clarabelle says:
hahahhaha
Clarabelle says:
remember the spice girls movie?
spontaneously idiotic. says:
hahahahahah
spontaneously idiotic. says:
sounds damn familiar
Clarabelle says:
hahaha
Clarabelle says:
i went to watch it twice
spontaneously idiotic. says:
omg la
spontaneously idiotic. says:
haha
spontaneously idiotic. says:
ure so ah lian
spontaneously idiotic. says:
mini bimbolian
spontaneously idiotic. says:
hahah
Clarabelle says:
kns
Clarabelle says:
liking spice girls wasn't ah lian or bimbotic laaaaaaaa

sigh.. those were the days man....

2007-10-14T21:07:00.000+08:00

A Quick Update..

Went to Wala Wala with aL n Ah fUn on sat nite.. had alot of fun and the live band there is damn good.. fell in love with the voice of the lead singer.. hahaa. but the stupid chairs were too hard.. had some serious buttache issue that lasted up till now.. i can't walk too fast now.. kns..

Reached home at abt 2-plus.. a fren suddenly msged me saying that he was bored.. ended up smsing him until abt 4plus and my brain couldn't function anymore.. so i went to slp..

Woke up at 6-plus..which means i only slept for abt 2hrs.. wanted to faint.. went to send my mum off coz she's leaving today.. had to carry down the luggages for her.. and i haven't slept until now..

Finally brought aL to church today.. vOn.. next time, u bring her instead k? i was so absorbed during mass and when i turned to my left.. she was slping away.. -_-'''
i was so horrified k...

SIGH.. it would have been a better day if the call was not picked up.. spoilt the whole day for the both of us..

Time will heal all wounds.. i promise u..

Anyway.. i'm gonna lie on my bed now.. my butt is aching again.. crap of all craps...

2007-10-13T16:05:00.000+08:00

1. What is the status of you and
the last person you held hands with?
- Friends

2. What is bothering you right now?
- Juz irritated coz lack of slp

3. What time did u sleep last night?
- 4am

4. Wallpaper on your computer's
desktop?
- Cartoon flowers n mountains..

5 . Background on your cell phone?
- My cute grandma

6 . What do you want in your life right
now?
- Inner Peace

7. Listening to?
- Nan Quan Mama.. like 2 of the guys in the group.. haha

8. What are you eating right now?
- Watermelons, Honeydew n Pear

10. Drinking?
- Teh Si Bing

11. What's your favorite thing to have
on your bed?
- Pillows.. the more the merrier.. (my poor grandma)

12. If you could change something in
your life, what would it be?
- Nicer to my grandparents [dad's side] when they were still around

13 . What do you wear to bed?
- T-shirt n Boxer

14. Do you remember your dreams?
- No.. I have the shortest memory around

15 . Who will you sleep with tomorrow?
- My grandma?! haha.. no choice.. she slps with me everyday..

16. Have you ever been gambling?
- I won 10 cents in Mahjong once. hahaha..

17. Who would you wish you could understand better?
- My dad

18 . What did you do last weekend?
- Cuz's wedding, Church n hanging with my mum

19. Who do you miss?
- Alot of pple

20. Who is the last dude and girl you
hugged?
- Girl (Ah Fun).. Dude? Wah.. i seriously can't remember.. Haven't hugged any guy for the longest time.. preparing to be a nun..

21. Orange or apple juice?
- Apple.. Orange juice gives me diarrhoea

22. Who was the last person you went
somewhere with? Where?
- Ailing.. HongKong Cafe at Marina Square

23 . What was the last text message
you got?
- From AiLing.. telling me that she bought alot of food.. haha

24 . Have you kissed anyone on your top friends?
- Yes.. on the cheeks

25. What was the last thing you drank?
- Teh Si Bing.. the questionaire is kinda long...

26. Whose house did you go to last
night?
- My House?

27. Who was the last person you
visited in the hospital?
- My grandaunt.. she fell and broke her hipbone

28. Do you like someone right now?
- Nope

29. Are you bored?
- Yah.. That's why i'm blogging..

30. What is the last movie you
watched?
- the stupid rat movie. Ratatouille

31. Name three drinks you regularly.
- Water, Beer and Teh Si Bing

32. What are you excited about?
- Gossip.. hahaha.. i love to bitch

33. Do you want someone you can't have?
- All the time..

34. Who was last to slap your butt?
- I can't recall? But i can remember whose butt i last pinched! Ah Fun.. hahah

35. Where was the last place you went?
- HongKong Cafe at Marina Square.. i have no life..

36. What's on your mind right now?
- Thinking whether i should finish blogging or go to the toilet first.. i kinda need to shit..

37. Have you cried recently?
- Yeah. Last night

38. Have you ever been on a roller
coaster?

- Yeah.. does the "spinning one" count as well? i was screaming n crying at the same time.. how pai seh can i get??

39. Do you care what others think about you?
- No.. Why should i?

40. What do you do all the time in a car?
- Look outside.. hahaha.. slowly spacing out n forgetting that there might be a fren next to me.. [sorry fenny!! hahaa..]

41. Do you trust people easily?
- Yeah.. unless they give me the reason not to..

42. Do you think you'll be married by 10 months?
- HIGHLY IMPOSSIBLE...

44. What do you look forward to in the
next 3 months?
- Nothing much.. juz hope that 2008 would be a good yr for me

45. Who was the last person you called?
- AiLing again..

46 . Who was the last missed call?
- Donson

47. What's your ring tone?
- I hate ringtones.. i rather have it on vibration or silent mode

48. Do you have any pets?
- No. All died.. Crap...

49. What happened at 10.00 am today?
- In the freaking bus, suffering in the cold coz of the rain and the traffic was moving like snails..

50. What were you thinking when you woke up this morning?
- Freak... muz i really get up? I wanna sleeeepppp..

2007-10-12T11:20:00.000+08:00

2 more days to go..

i juz can't wait.. Perhaps i will be able to slp earlier coz i won't be that scared at night..

Gawd..

I think i ate too much pineapple.. having a slight gastric right now.. too much acid inside.. trying to drink water but it tastes so bitter... craps..

Anyway..

Fenny, i hope u're feeling better.. stop eating too much maggi, ok? it's not good at all..

Fi, thanks for the ecard.. very sweet of u..

Ah fUn, let's juz keep up the good work.. :) n.. i'm always here if u need someone to chat with in the middle of the night

vOn, not sure if u're gonna see this.. but.. i hope that u'll feel better soon.. u're definitely stronger than u think..

Jon, why can't u juz surprise me? :) N u better not go to hk.. i'll roast u alive..

Cinz, u're not anti-social.. i'm sure u're capable of making new frenz.. juz go beyond the surface, if u get what i mean..

N the rest..

Take care and we'll meet up soon.. dun worry too much abt me. i know myself very well.

2007-10-11T03:14:00.000+08:00

had alot that i wanted to blog.. but i lost my interest..

i'm juz tired of things right now...

can't really say how i feel..

the feeling suckz..

anyway.. i dunno why but..

october always reminds me of my grandma [dad's side] that passed away when i was in sec sch..

i guess towards her n my grandpa.. they will be the only two that i really regret not spending enough time n care on.. and i only have myself to blame.

if only i had the mentality to care more abt them when they were alive.. things are so bad at my dad's side that i dun even dare to ask when's their death anniversary..

oh guess what?

i dun even know where they're buried at coz we only went there once.. during the funeral..

i really can understand why my grandma appear to my godsis in KL instead of us..

Anyway~

My parents will be going BKK for one mth.. kinda worried for them.. hopefully, they'll be safe.. in the meantime.. it means FREEDOM to me!!

I better go to bed now.. cya guys

2007-10-08T13:21:00.000+08:00

Have been MIA for a week or so...

Sorry to those i didn't reply to smses or calls.. i really didn't have the mood to talk or sms..

Spent the whole time at home.. only stepped out on fri to collect my specs coz my mum wants me to wear it for my cuz's wedding the next day..

The wedding dinner was fun.. saw all my relatives n all.. n saw my baby katleen.. she's so cute.. :) so sweet and gentle.. she juz kept on smiling to everyone.. and her mum asked if i wanna carry and i did.. so soft.. haha.. like a pillow.. she didn't even cry.. her mum said she loves being carried and she doesn't cry when she sees strangers and she tends to smile alot more when ah mas appear.. which is true coz when my grandma appears, katleen was practically grinning like nobody's biz.. my aunt is so lucky to have a baby like katleen, man..

Anyway...

I still dun feel that sociable though.. juz dun feel like meeting anyone yet.. i'll call or sms u guys when i am ready to..

I think i should go for another hair cut soon.. getting quite annoyed by the length..

2007-09-16T02:04:00.000+08:00

Finally!!!

after months of anticipation.. reading someone's blog until i can confirm that it is true.. finally!! i have a break-through!!!!!! i have something new to bitch about now!!! hahaha.. supper, fi n mich?!!?! i got juicy juicy news!!!! hahahahah

anyway..

the flu bug has caught me.. damnit...

2007-09-16T01:45:00.000+08:00

i juz dun understand..

after all that we have been through.. after all the consoling and friendship that we had in the past.. doesn't it count?

i juz dun understand..

how could u chose to contact some idiot who has only been close to you for one or two yrs in sch over someone who has been ur fren since sec two..

i juz dun understand..

how could u not contact someone who has been on your side throughout the school days

i juz dun understand..

how can u pretend that someone never existed after all that person has done to make u happy when u were down

i juz dun understand..

dun our frenship mean anything to u

i juz dun understand..

how can u not miss me when i have missed u after all these yrs

i juz dun understand..

seeing your face in someone else's friendster photos makes me wonder why i value ur frenship at all..

i juz dun understand..

2007-09-08T12:47:00.000+08:00

hahaa..

i juz had to share this.. i can't laugh alone.. :D

this morning, when i was half-awake... i heard this conversation bet. my grandmama n my mum..

grandmama: i decided to clean clara's table ytd.. so messy.. and i found a photo on her table..
mum: is it?
grandmama: ya.. it's a guy, maybe her bf
mum: where is the photo?
[a little pause.. i think my grandmama passed her the photo and my mum was looking at it]
mum: erhm.. ma.. it's a girl..

sooo.. when my grandma came back to our room, i went to see which photo she was looking at.. guess who? ahahahahaa..

Ans: when cinz went to take her cv photo, i took one for me to keep.. so now when i can't see her coz she's so freaking far far away, i placed her photo on the top shelf of my table..

u know i still heart u, cinz.. hahahaha..

2007-09-06T19:49:00.000+08:00

Hmmmm..

It has been weeks since i left work.. but.. i have not gone near or even unpacked the things that i brought back from work..

i dunno man.. maybe it's denial.. i juz can't bring myself to unpack yet.. i dun wanna feel depressed.. i really miss hanging out during lunch wz Ailing, Von, Suelyn or even Don.. sigh.. of coz my breaks with Ryan and the rest of the gang.. I miss all the laughter and fun that i used to have everyday..

yes... work was f**ked up to the core..
yes... i looked like crap everyday..
yes... even aud said that i look more radiant now..

But..

i miss the freedom that was given to me
i miss the love that was given to me
i miss the frens that accompanied me everyday

i was talking to Mich on the fone the other night.. we were flipping through our yearbook.. *not gonna say the real reason why we were looking thru it*.. we started talking abt school days and the "wars" we had..

then stupid mich had to leave me dumbfound for awhile when she said that i looked more happy and cheerful in the pic than now..

Anyway..

I went to look for mich to lunch on Monday..

she was gonna meet fie @ night to pass him his bday prez and since it has been such a long time since i last saw fie.. we decided to meet to chit chat for awhile... Gawd.. i waited for mich to finish work for like 5 hrs?! in tiny compasspoint.. i nearly wanted to faint from boredom and coldness.. it was freezing and i had to entertain myself.. :(

when finally, i saw her.. i nearly teared coz i never waited for someone for so long before in a tiny place.. T-T

Tues, i rested @ home coz i didn't sleep well at nite..

Wed.. i met up wz Tracy for Lunch @ Din Tai Fung.. Haven't seen her in ages, man.. and guess who i bumped into @ Raffles city? Joyce.. :) my darling.. which i promised to meet her next week..

We chilled and hanged until 8 plus coz i was gonna meet up wz Fenny and Aud for drinks @ abt 8.30.. thank goodness, don called..so we met up for awhile.. and Tracy left for her movie date. and it was so obvious that she wanted to leave me.. but at the same time, she didn't wanna leave me alone.. hahaha.. so don accompanied me till fenny n aud arrived.

oh! while waiting for the girls to arrive, i saw ethan.. :) he still behaves the same.. as cheeky as ever.. :) arranged to meet up soon as well.

Fenny, Aud n i went to the New Asia Bar.. i had alot of fun with them.. :D

Today..

Woke up @ 3 plus.. didn't slp well again.. was woozy until late morning..

Fri..

Gonna meet don for lunch n acc him to sch to hand up his report.. and then, meet char n the rest of the girls for dinner to look @ the wedding photos and catch up..
might meet von, suelyn n ailing for drinks after that as well..

Next week..

Gonna meet joyce for dinner..
Gotta meet Kev to pass him the fish tank and the rest.. *I am not buying sand for u*

Maybe.. meet Ethan, siti and elaine for dinner
Maybe.. meet dav n sha for dinner
Maybe.. meet Ethan n sha for dinner

ALot of maybes..

Yawn.. i wanna go n watch tv already..

talk to u guys soon..

p.s

Cinz, i miss u loads... every single day..

2007-08-11T00:27:00.000+08:00

Have fun over the National Day Holiday..

Fib picked me up to go over to Mich's place on wed.. so sweet of them.. they wanted to celebrate me leaving Conrad.. so that they arranged for steamboat and all.. ate alot.. :) and had whipped cream, strawberries and mango pudding..

slept over @ mich's place.. and spent the whole of National Day at her place.. watched the korean show "My Girl" from like 10am till 6 plus 7pm? JH came over and soon after Fib came back too.. and we went to the pasar malam for awhile before heading home..

Talking abt the pasar malam.. can't believe fib and i believed mich again.. made us walked for like slightly more than half an hr until fib wanted to shit when we reached the place.. hahaa..i lasted until we bought food and walked the whole pasar malam, then i really wanted to shit.. hahaha..

It was fun.. very relaxed.. sigh.. i really missed this kinda thing u know.. spending the whole day away with your closest frens.. dun really have to do much.. but juz being around each other.. i really missed times like this..

i really missed juz bumming around with mich n fib.. or with cinz and fenny.. or with fib, jon & mich.. or with kev, cinz n fenny.. or with Sha n David..or hanging out individually.. or with victor.. or with shirley.. i juz missed spending the whole day away with my closest frens..

Sigh..

I juz can't wait to quit work...

2007-08-04T13:47:00.000+08:00

11 more days to go before i leave Conrad..

Kinda sad but happy coz Poh Chin is leaving on the same day as me so i will not kana anymore shit.

I'm so mentally tired already.. i juz dun wanna take on more shit from work anymore..

guess what?

i'm off on National Day... :) mich n fi, dun forget that we're supposed to go out on that day..

guess what again?

u guys are all wrong abt something.. told u nth is nth.. :P

yes jon.. i'm looking for schools now.. i promised u that i'll be in sch by the time u come back.. i will keep that promise..

cinz.. muz save ok? coz pounds have more value than sing dollars.. so u gotta save on my behalf too.. i miss u alot.. i wish u didn't have to go...