Edited

Went over to a fren's house to chill with a couple of frens today [sunday]..

It was fun.. Ate instant noodle with luncheon meat [very rare these days], fried eggs and kim chi.. Dyed frens' hair for them, played games and chilled in front of the telly watching "sex in the city" dvds till midnight..

It was very relaxed and juz being in the company of frens that i can have alot of fun with..

As i was taking the cab home, after sending my other fren off, i passed by Adam's road.. Each time i pass by there, i get reminded of an arsehole who stays there.. [unfortunately] then when we passed over the condemned place, i had to see his "dream home" too.. felt nauseous and had the urge of setting the place on fire..

Anyway.. it got me thinking about alot of things after that.. Kinda added up from topics that were brought up on sat with my usual and today's topics at my fren's place.. "sex in the city" helped too..

One thing is for sure is that one more time someone asks me when i'm gonna have a bf or why i dun wanna go with happy new year/volder.. i am gonna kill that person..

This is seriously madness. I am only 24 this yr.. what's the big hurry? am i bothering pple? do i look pathetic by myself? do i have to throw myself at someone who says that he likes me? for goodness' sake, let go pple.. i thot i had already said earlier how i felt abt pple asking me to get a bf..

Hello.. I ain't complaining, why should u guys be?

And i am not gonna choose happy new year/volder.. so what if he is nice to me? so what if he is sweet to me? Do i have to be with him juz coz of those reasons?

gawd.. i wan someone that i can communicate with.. not someone that i can only talk face to face coz he confuses me each time we talk over msn, or phone calls or sms.. drives me crazy each time i'm trying to figure out what the hell he's talking abt..

i wan someone that can take most of my crap and not try to piss me off every 5 mins.. i wan someone who can take care of me.. i am tired of taking care of pple.. i wan someone who dun behave more like a girl than i am.. oh pls.. i feel more manly than him..

Isn't these reasons good enough for pple to know why i'm not gonna be with him?

Yeah.. i am scared of being single at the age of 40 with no family to call my own.. i am scared when i think that all my frens might get married and settle down..

But this kinda thing takes time.. I dun wanna rush into things juz because i am scared of being alone..

So leave me alone peeps.. spare me, pls.. I got more things on my mind than think about relationships now. Doesn't mean that i dun share what's going on in my life right now means everything is rosy right now.. N pls dun ask what they are coz i dun intend to share with anyone. I'm sorry but i know that i have to face it sooner or later and i can handle by myself.

I know u guys care alot for me and i love u guys loads too.. So i hope that u guys can understand..