i know it might seem as though it's a damn retarded thing to do.. but i can't take it anymore.. i thought i could. but i was so freaking wrong. i wanna leave here soon.. i wanna run away.. i really hope to get the job i wan now.. i dun wanna feel pain or see pain anymore.. i can't deal with it. it's harder than i thought it might be. why is it like this? i dunno. what makes this guy special? i dun know. all i know is that i dun wish to see this guy anymore. until i'm sure that i dun feel anything towards him anymore. i feel guilt towards this guy too.. coz i feel as though i owe him so much until it's suffocating me.

i can't help liking him, at the same time, i can't help hating him for making me feel this way. why do u have to torture me like this? why do u have to choose someone else who is equally impt in my life to torture me? thank u very much..

all i can say is.. can someone have a drinking session with me? i need beer badly. very badly..