So...

I reached home n found that my mum placed the fish tank outside our hse and there were a couple of fishes in there..

Took a closer look.. Found a dead yellow fish... Told my mum who was playing online mj when i opened the door..

Both of us ended up staring at the dead fish and singing "yellow submarine" by the beatles.. hahaa..

********

Cinz is coming home in 5 days' time.. can't wait!!!

Have alot of things to share with her.. :)

She has finally become a girl.. heehee.. can't wait to see the "new" her.. hopefully, i won't faint in shock..

But..

At least my grandma won't mistake her for a guy now..

HHAHAHAHAHA..


********

Oh Ya..

Something that i can't stand..

I can't stand it that there are pple that i haven't spoken to since we left primary sch.. even though we belong to the same sec sch but we ended up in different classes coz they could go to express.. and they decided to pretend not to know u coz they dun wanna be associated with u..

AND THEN..

suddenly, after years of leaving sch and the pretence.. they decided to meet up with u.. have a get-together.. a reunion.. and started to add u in friendster or facebook even though friendster has been there for the longest time.. and start acting fake.. pretending that those 4 yrs in sec sch, nothing happened..

BUT..

We should all learnt to forgive and forget.. so i did add them in friendster and facebook.. hopefully, something good will happen..
***********

I'm sorry Mel.. i dun mean anything.. i would LOVE to meet up with u and all.. Juz bothered me for awhile, that's all..

5 more Days till i see Cinz..

Can't wait..

Can the day faster come?

I dun think i can hold on anymore..

If i said i wasn't upset.. i will be kidding u.

If i said i wasn't angry.. i will be kidding u.

I juz dun wanna think anymore..

Fine..

I will make sure things be like what u wan it to be.. sick n tired..

Dun test me..

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Hate it when u do something sweet for me.. coz i know it won't last long..

When u show ur care n concern.. it makes me feel so bad that i have been the most horrible shit to u and i feel so bad n guilty towards u.. and i would start trying to make amendments to u..

and then..

sooner or later, something would happen that will make me dislike u again..

Pops.. tell me.. what exactly happened?

i still remember sitting on ur shoulder with nana on the other side.. laughing n playing.. saying that we 3 are the most precious things in the world.. how did things become like this?

I still remember when we used to be close.. mummy and u went overseas.. i actually cried and hugged u when u guys were gonna leave for the airport.. but yet now.. i juz can't wait for u to be overseas.. even counting down the days..

i still remember being carried by you and snuggling up to u n buried my whole face in ur neck during ur fren's wedding dinner coz i was so shy to meet new pple..

Then things had to change ever since the day i fell down the stairs.. we became distant.. i didn't know u anymore..

I know u're very upset abt things being like this too.. why can't u open up to us? why can't u open ur heart to us even when i said i hate u.. even when i kept on hitting my hand.. even when i cried until there was no tmw.. even when i begged u to open to us..

i guess all of us need to play a part in what happened to us now.. will the day ever come where all of us can sit down n talk n laugh without arguing?

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I dun need much.. I juz need beer over the weekend with my usual..

Can't wait..

May the alcohol drown my sorrows..

Wanna know how lucky i can be?

Today after work, yong jia, ailing n i went over to Starhub @ somerset to get ailing's new fone...

after which, yong jia left for her family dinner.. so ailing n i decided to share a cab back, like we always do..

But.. Guess what?

I spent one freaking hour to reach home..

Why?!

Coz after sending ailing back, and saying my address.. i fell asleep until the uncle asked me whether i live at street 3.. and i woke up in a shock coz since when Bishan had street 3 and when i looked out of the car window.. Guess where was i?

Simei! Simei! Does Bishan sound like Simei in the first place?! i wanted to faint on the spot la!

wah lao.. i couldn't believe it..

and by the time i reached my home, my butt was numb.. -_-'''

Can't believe this.. i hardly fall asleep in cabs.. and juz this time, i decided to take a short nap.. i ended up in simei..

what luck do i have, man....

Cheesed off once again..

My mum, sisters n i went for church today.. we decided not to go to our usual one coz we were running late.. so we decided to go to the one @ TP..

and i'm never going there again.. it was my first time there with my mum n sisters.. the last time i went there was with frenz and it wasn't so bad..

i saw a lady clipping her fingernails while listening to homily..

AND

i had 2 ladies staring at my sisters n me throughout the whole mass.. what? juz coz my mum is chinese and the 3 of us look like malay.. what, man?!?! we can't sit together? can't hold hands/link arms throughout mass? can't attend mass coz we look like malays?

felt like a bloody animal in a zoo.. sick n tired of this.. hate going to new churches without my dad.. at least my usual one, most of the community saw us grow up.. so they know us.. either than that, they juz love to stare at us.. which i juz dun get.. stupid and annoying.. i juz wanted to pluck out their eyeballs coz they dun seem to get the hint after glaring back at them..

so much for being a racial harmony country...

Okk... I'm getting real cheesed off right now..

What's with everyone telling me to get a bf? Shimin kept telling me that, Fenny too.. And a whole truck load of other pple..

Wat? do i look like i need a bf right now?

I dun need another arsehole to ruin my life.. i like the fact that i can meet my frens as n when i wanna meet..

I dun need a man/guy right now.. I have enough problems as it is..

And!!

I juz turned 23, for goodness sake..

AND!!

Can we juz stop talking abt u-know-who [volder, happy new year]? My gawd.. we are JUZ frens.. that will never ever change..

The worst case scenario, if i am still single by like 35 or something.. i will juz get pregs by artificial means and raise my kid with my frens n family.. [i really hope it will be a girl]

So stop bugging me peeps.. Aarrghhh..

So this is a start to 2008...

Not very excited to start the new year coz i know that this yr.. there will be alot of drastic changes which will definitely dampen my spirits.. and there will be nothing i can do abt it..

i guess the only thing i am looking forward in 2008 is that in feb, cinz will be coming back.. either than that.. i juz hope that i can get pass this year peacefully and hopefully, i won't have to go thru too much pain..

that is not asking for much, rite?