juz ate dinner.. i cooked cabbage soup.. :) this is my first time cooking cabbage soup.. went experimenting, N it turned out great! haha.. my grandma said it's really good.. hee hee..

when i was cooking, i got reminded of huiling.. coz there was once when i went over to her house to have a stayover, we cooked vegetable soup.. hee hee.. it was fun experimenting with hui.. i still remember that when we started cooking the soup, we realise that we had forgotten to buy carrots.. but thank goodness, liwen happened to stay below.. so i popped over to liwen's place n borrowed a carrot from her.. haha.. then we invited liwen for dinner to try our homemade soup.. :)

i miss those fun times where hui n i would experiment n come up with our own dishes.. haha.. thank goodness we didn't poison ourselves or something.. haha

how abt it, hui? shall we have another experimenting session? ;)

anyway.. i'm officially sick.. can't stop blowing my nose right now... the com table is slowly piling up with used tissues.. i hate being sick.. can't breathe properly too.. how i hate flu... :(

was supposed to meet someone today but had no news from that person

oh well...

went out with kev, cinz n mich instead... went to our fav place in century square to eat.. Bi Feng Tang.. haha.. then we had ice-cream.. after we ate.. we (mich, cinz n i) went orchard.. hai tao (cinz's fren) came to meet us later...

i'm officially scared of hai tao!!!!!!!!!!!

omg... scary shit man.. i'm never going out with cinz if he's coming along..

sch was damn boring today coz it's a long long day.. from 830 - 5pm.. had ms diah's lessons in the morn.. we (kev, fen, cinz n i) were late for sch so we managed to avoid abit of ms diah's life story.. hahah.. then we had ms kong's lesson.. not that boring la..

i guess the best lesson was accounting after lunch.. coz i wasn't even listening to her.. okie.. i wanted to.. but i suck in cost control.. so i lost interest after break.. ended up blowing bubble gum and playing bingo with cinz and terrence.. kev n i were competing who can blow the biggest bubble.. i think i won.. heh heh.. *wink wink*

showed kev, cinz, fen, von n terrence the pic of the guy i like.. kns.. kev said that he is better looking than the guy i like.. hmph... irritated for a few mins, man... i dunno la... i guess i find him cute, can already.. hahahaha...

WAH LAO

i can't take it la!!!!!!

some jackass juz called me saying that he found my hp that i lost in the cab. then he bullshitted saying that he spent alot of time finding an adaptor and all, that's why he took a long time to find me.. and then dunno what he spent alot of money on the adaptor coz my fone went flat.. NB..

then i asked him whether i can get my fone back.. he said that i had to bear the cost of the adaptor that he bought. what the fuck.. he said he bought the adaptor for 35 bucks and he said that he'll keep the adaptor for his laptop coz it's universal.. then i asked him how much he wants me to pay.. he wanted me to pay 85-90 bucks for my own fone!!!!

crazy shit man.. i told him he can keep the fone.. then he slammed down the fone..

what?! do i look that dumb to actually pay 85-90 bucks on top of the amt i spent on my new fone? fat chance man!! damn pissed!

he can take the fone and stuff it up his bloody ass.. i'll juz take it as i'm doing charity.. crazy!!!

wanted to show u guys some lyrics to a song.. didn't know the song title coz i heard it once in my media player.. but now! i wanna find the stupid song in my player.. i can't find it.. crap.. i dun even know who sang it coz it doesn't sound familiar.. how f-ed up can it get..

anyway...

juz a personal note to all those pple who know who i like.. pls dun try to do anything to bring the both of us together.. it might backfire in the end. thanx for ur help but i'm scared that things might turn another way.. i know u guys mean well.. but this person may not appreciate what u guys are telling him..

that's all i wanna say.. nth else for today.. take care..

miss him loads.. :P

Heal Me,I'm Heartsick by No Vacancy

Heal me. I'm heartsick. I'm hungry and I'm broken.
I'm haunted, and weeping the blood of heaven flowing
like a river tonight. Tears I can't fight on my own.
I'm a haunted heathen. I'm hung and barely breathing.
The drowning ocean. Snuff the sun in motion.
There's a pill on my tongue.
A shot from a gun, the bottle's bottom,
I'm lonely as a star

Heal me. I'm heartsick.
Hungry thought I could survive on you.
Hear my heartsick hungry cry.
I'm heartsick.

Father, free me. Mama woman feed me
A child of fury. Lost his way but don't worry I won't stop 'til the dawn.
I've been too long on the run.
I grow strong, and restless as a storm

Heal me. I'm heartsick.
Hungry thought I could survive on you.
Hear my heartsick hungry cry.
I'm heartsick.

Heal me. I'm heartsick.
I'm hungry and I'm broken.
I'm haunted, and weeping.
The blood of heaven flowing
like a river tonight.
Tears I can't fight on my own.

So heal me. I'm heartsick.
Hungry thought I could survive on you.
Hear my heartsick hungry cry.

I'm heartsick.
So heal me. I’m heartsick.
Hungry thought I could survive on you.
Hear my heartsick hungry cry.

took a test from a webbie that pris gave: http://www.colorgenics.com/sps/index.cfm

it's quite accurate...

this is mine..

You want to be regarded as an exiting and interesting personality able to persuade others to comply with your beliefs and ideas. You are charming and able to influence other people who come into your sphere of influence. You like mental stimulation and you are the sort of person who is prepared to 'try anything once'. Your confidence is so much so that others are often swept away by your enthusiasm.

Most people are conditioned by their environment and you are no exception. You are an extremely emotional person - so much so that 'the wrong word' can lead you to tears. You feel other people's pain. You feel the need of sympathetic relationships and a pleasant work environment in order to develop and grow. You are an impulsive, loving individual with a great deal of inherent feeling.

Everyone has to compromise at times and circumstances are such that at this time you are feeling the need to do just that. Put all of your hopes on the back burner and let matters flow for a time - forgo some of the things you want. The good times are just around the corner.

You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all. The existing situation is not of your liking - you have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of 'total surrender'. This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome. You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able to maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence 'you need to be needed' and at the same time 'you need to need'.

You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality.

juz came back from michele's birthday party and post-party...

had a wonderful time there.. got to see huiling, be close to shal again.. what's more to ask.. haha

and i really like michele's uncle, actually the whole family.. they are very nice pple.. warm, friendly... wacky.. lol.. jiahao is lucky that her family is like this.. can feel right at home.. :)

things got quite out of hand for me though.. suddenly all my darling babes knew abt my story.. lol.. dunno how the hell it spread too.. i think it's my mouth. haha.. thanx for being there for me, esp. shin n shal.. i owe u guys alot today...

well.. how many times in one lifetime muz a person like someone until he/she found his/her soulmate...

freak...

today's meeting totally sucked.. was meeting frens at town today.. decided to go with cinz n mich as they were going to town as well... stopped over at mich's hse then we went to town together...

i wasn't really excited to go due to some reasons but sooner or later, i guess i had to deal with it..
the air was damn uncomfortable when i met them.. the sense of awkardness was very overwhelming.. she kept on smsing n talking on the fone while i was talking to another fren n staring into blank space.

we went to delifrance for dinner.. was eating halfway when my fren got very uncomfortable and started why i am angry with that person. i dunno what to say, man... maybe one reason was that i was not expected to be questioned today.. when she said that, i totally lost sense.. juz said that i was hungry, i wanted to eat my dinner and didn't want to talk abt it. i'm like what do u want me to say?!

hate to admit it but it'll be a long time before we can be normal again.. fuck.. i lost all feelings already.. i dun even know why the hell i'm angry with her already. tried to reason with my fren after she left us, but shit! suddenly, everything dun make sense anymore..

why am i so angry? what's the real reason why i am so pissed? i really dunno.... maybe i do, but it's hard to say? am i being reasonable? i dunno man.. do i feel neglected that's why i'm angry? am i angry coz she didn't contact me? am i angry coz she thought i was angry?

how did things become so bad? what am i doing? did i feel awkward coz she was like that to me today? i hate this.. i dun even know what to say to her anymore.. can't she make the first move to talk? why muz it be me? am i being too stubborn?

so many qns.. need alot of answers.. feel like shit...

*yawn*

i came back not long ago... went to Tampines Mall to watch "seven swords" with cinz and kevin.. i'm still quite excited from the show... the swords keep going "shiing shhiiingg"... damn cool.. and their swordsmenship was good shit man... :) i dun mind watching it again! hahah

before we watched the show, we had dinner at "bi feng tang"... it was worth it, manzz.. kev n i had the prawn dumpling noodles, while cinz had some beef la mien thingy... it was damn good.. the dumplings were huge and they used real whole prawns and all.. when i bite into it, i could see the prawn, mushroom and all.. it was yummy!! one day, i'll bring u guys to eat.. *yum yum*

anyway, i owe u my conrad bear and a toy car, jon.. lol.. dun forget who are supporting u, ya? :)

Close frens would know that i'm a very direct person. Sometimes, i may be too tactless or heartless... If i feel bad, i would apologise.. but.. most of the time, i dun.

this is me. some pple have to deal with it. If u can't deal with it, feel free to leave.. i dun see the purpose of me changing juz coz of it. isn't that cloning me to be like u?

i may not agree with two frens of mine.. one has a sucky, f-ed up love life, another has a screwed-up life (i feel)... they're sort of close to me.. thus, it's harder to accept it, i guess..

for the f-ed up love life, i juz feel like slapping that person... when's he gonna wake up n smell the fresh flowers... i dunno, man... we vow never to bring up his love life anymore... i still feel that he's a loser.. rite, cinz?

for the screwed-up life, i wash my hands off u. i dun care what u wanna do with ur life anymore. i feel so stupid to care so much abt u, until i think abt ur parents' feelings too. but, i dun think u even give a damn abt me caring.. u probably think that i should mind my own business. even our close frens say that as frens, we should only be there for each other. but i'm sorry, i dun wan to be the person to comfort u when u finally regret how u spent ur life or when something goes wrong. i give up on u and no one can make me change my mind. even seeing ur name right now makes me sad. u've hurt me.. actually, not only me. but do u care? most probably, u're too happy hanging out with those losers to even think abt us.

it's gonna be our fren's birthday soon. i hope u'll go. but dun expect me to be too nice to u.

anyway..

i think all of us have the right to go out with however we wanna go out with... we dun always have to go out as a group, dun u think so? i won't mind if u met pple without me, so why should u?