I hate men, i really do..

Always saying stuffs that they will not stick to. All hypocrites.. They said they won't do that coz of a particular reason, and the next moment, u found out that they are doing the thing that they said they won't do.

I'm so disappointed and hurt. I will never ever trust another man again.

Out Of Reach"

Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK

But I was
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you

But now I'm
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach,
So far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there
For me

U know..
I really hate to admit it.. but.. i really understand why he wanted to end things with me.. deep down inside, i understand and know the reasons why he did it.. coz if i were him, i would have done the exact same thing.. except for the way that he end it..

So.. dun hate him or think that he's as bad as ken, mich..

though i never wanna see him in my life again coz i will be hurt again.. but at least i know that..

he was the only one who will rather walk barefooted and let me walk in his shoes, then let me suffer in my heels.

Been in and out of slp lately.. Dunno why i have been feeling so tired.. I even wanted to slp while walking home.. (-_-'')

Grace's wedding dinner is approaching.. i've already bought the shoes for the occasion.. but haven't decide what to wear yet.. hahaahaha.. actually, i wanted to buy the shoes coz it's damn nice.. hahahahahaaha... and i have an excuse so my mum won't kill me.. but.. it's not my fault.. Jon asked to do retail therapy what.. heh heh.. dun worry, fenny n mich. i'm not on depression mode..

Peeps at work have been asking me if i'm really alright.. and they asked me why i can be so happy and cheerful after what happened.. then i ask.. what do u guys wan me to be then? Sad? Crying every moment? that's so not me.. what's over is over. what's there to mull over? siao..

anyway..

I have to go back to work.. tata.. i miss u guys.. *hugzz*

The week has past by quickly.. which is very good... things got interesting from thurs... :)

Thurday

Met Don and Kelly after work for dinner.. went to some italian restaurant at market place to eat.. was late as usual (what's new).. thank goodness i told don to order for me first.. coz i was starving when i reached there.. food sucked except for the soup.. haha.. at least i had great company.. :)

Friday

Met hubby after work.. was late again.. (-_-''') we couldn't go for our manicure in the end coz by the time i reached there was close to 930pm.. [i'm sorry, hub] walked over to Bishan Park instead to have our bottle of wine n food.. the lamb chop was fantastic!! as well as the deep fried button mushrooms and cuttlefish balls.. :) dunno why we had a harder time trying to finish off our wine this time round.. but the red was really good.. (",)

Saturday

Woke up at 430pm.. :x fenny either called or smsed me to have dinner and chill.. can't remember.. met her at PS at abt 630.. feet nearly died.. she had to buy plasters for me.. haha.. i wore my new heels.. the blister burst and it was bleeding.. fenny n i were kinda disgusted.. haha.. went to Crytal Jade for dinner.. Met Nana and her frenz there.. grossed her out with my bleeding heel..haha.. had fun chit-chatting until she told me that she was thinking how come that girl looked so familiar, after which she realized it was me.. felt sian 1/2 and went back to my table. haha..

After having good food, we went shopping.. i bought a new pair of heels and then.. went to charles & keith and bought a pair of slippers.. fenny bought a gold bag from there too.. :) then we walked over to MM to pass Jimmy something and walked over to Ascott's to find Cinz at work... that's where the fun began.. haha..

She brought fenny and i to the Penthouse.. damn cool!!! Took loads of pics there.. posing here and there.. haha.. and ate two roche... haha.. and we were lazing on the sofa and all.. it was really beautiful.. i really like the decor n all..

then we waited for cinz to finish work.. chilled at Mac's for awhile and went home.. like at 1 plus..

Sunday

Went to work.. had trouble with the stupid printer.. was trying to figure it out for a good whole hr.. -_-'' wasted alot of time here and there.. but oh well.. mass was at 4pm so i slacked alot.. hahahaha..

Went to church and met Fenny and Jimmy after that... had dinner at Din Tai Fung.. my fav xiao long bao!!! hahahaa.. :) then dunno how come we came up with a plan to surprise cinz with prezzies.. so.. the main actor was Jimmy.. he had to pretend that he broke up with fen and was very dejected and wanted to meet her for awhile.. and we would pop over n scare her.. we bought a balloon for her to tell her that we'll miss her.. [She'll be going to London with her fam for 2 yrs or so.. :(]and a recordable flower.. the venue was originally the esplanade.. so we went over there and sat there to record our voices.. but.. we (fen n me laa) couldn't stop laughing.. it took us almost 20 mins to record our voices... -_-

we changed venue to Marine Square coz we couldn't choose a good spot to spy on Jimmy and cinz.. haha.. we even bought sweet popcorn and a large cup of lemon tea to watch the show.. but stupid cinz took forever to come that we finished everything and took alot of pics by the time she came..

I think we did a good job in scaring cinz.. haha.. couldn't stop laughing.. she looked like she was gonna have a heart attack or something.. it was hilarious.. the details are kinda long.. so i won't write them here.. :) but i'm glad she liked the flower and balloon.. and to calm her nerves down.. we went over to Harry's for beer... sat there for close to 2 hrs talking crap and telling Jimmy abt all the stupid stuffs that happened during our higher dip times.. sigh.. those were the days, man.. i miss them.. :(

Anyways.. i enjoyed myself tremendously.. :) and i'm sure there's more to come.. Kev.. stop being a lazy ass and come out with us more frequently k? :)

Why do we need to make sacrifices??

To make us feel noble..?
To make us feel better abt ourselves?

To me...

Making sacifices is a form of misery... When u make sacrifies.. it's always to make someone else happy.. but u're not happy..

Then.. what's the pt of it?

People come and go.. some will stay forever.. some will stay only for awhile.. u'll never know who belongs to which catergory.. that's the risk u gotta take..

When they choose to leave.. Juz take in a deep breath, and breathe out all ur pain..

Start anew.. and never give up on finding new frenz.. coz like trying to find a pearl in the pile of oysters.. u'll never know if u've found a pearl in the oyster unless u take the first step to open it up..

There's never a right or wrong.. it's whether u have the courage to make a difference in ur life or not.. Live life to the fullest.. Isn't that more impt? But never do things that u'll regret later in ur life.. Coz that's a very very sucky feeling..

We are still young.. There are still many many things for us to do out there.. Embrace all the ups and downs.. coz u'll learn from all ur achievements and mistakes..

This is from me to you guys.. esp someone.. who's going through the same thing as me.. u know who u are.. take care, my fren.. :)i'm juz a sms away..

Went to the hair salon to cut my hair today... Felt so much better.. Felt lighter too..

2nd day after all that shit that happened.. things are getting back to normal.. it's weird but Saufie helped to make me feel alot better..

mich said that i opened up alot this time round.. apparently, the last time this happened.. i went missing for 2 weeks (which i couldn't remember i did that)...

Things that i'm hurt abt and take awhile to recover:

- i told him before how i hated the way Max broke up with me.. but he chose to break up the same way with me.. exactly the same..

- throughout dinner and the talk, he was smsing n calling pple to meet after telling me.

but.. i will be fine..

coz of my darling frenz...

thank you mich, fi and jia hao for coming over as soon as you could that day

thank you hubby for calling to cheer me up

thank you sha for calling n smsing me (which is very very rare)

thank you jon for picking up my call and making me laugh

thank you grace, ailing and amanda for calling me to make sure that i'm ok

thank you cinz and fenny for ur msges

thank you kor for agreeing to what i say to make me feel better

thank you Saufie for ur encouragement

what would i do if i didn't have u guys with me in my life... :)